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1993 "Cause & Effect" ___________________________ January 1993 Questions and answers about searching for a soulmate, the pain caused by a miscarriage, the result of an affair, a husband's response to a friend's death, and the quest for a rainbow. ___________________________ It seems as if I've been in an altered state of consciousness since I last wrote this column for Issue 52 (Issue 53 was a color catalog without editorial). In that time, with my spirit guide Abenda's help, I have responded to enough letters to fill a 192 page book. It's titled Blame It On Your Past Lives and is being released this month. In this way I've responded to far more people than this column allows. What feels like dharmic responsibility can be overwhelming at times. They say "she teaches best what she most needs to learn." That's a bit how I feel as the channel of this awareness. Abenda arranges for deceased relatives, friends and guides to write through my hand, and I get to learn about the intricate inner workings of reincarnation and karma -- cause and effect -- why we must return to clean up the past, help others, and climb the ladder back to the Godhead. The more I learn, the more I understand how we come to create our own reality. As part of my book, I asked Abenda and my other spiritual friends to provide some general information on such subjects as family relationships, love, life direction, and health. Each of my unseen helpers then shared their "take" on the subject. Richard and I will be conducting many seminars and book signings in 1993. While we're on the road, I hope to get a chance to meet more of you and to personally thank you for your support and encouragement. Have a wonderful New Age new year.
Q. Over the years, I've known two men I believed were soulmates, but neither developed into a mate for this lifetime. In addition, I've had crushes now and then, but none have developed into anything. I am 37 years old and wonder if I will be alone forever. Can you give me any insight into my situation? I'm a little embarrassed about writing, so please use only my initials. L.A. A. Someone named Fred Sanders came in to write to you. He seemed to be half man, half woman, or a man dressed as a woman. This is what he had to say: "You were once a beggar woman who maintained a position outside a church in ancient Italy. No one ever looked at you or cared for you as they gave you money. You learned to make superficial contact without any meaningful energy exchange, without giving or receiving any form of friendship. "You can move beyond this pattern if you are willing to open your heart. You must learn to accept emotional gifts as well as material ones. "You will not always be alone, but you are blocking progress in this area. You don't really want to change. Do not fear life. You can be who you are and yet push yourself to go out and meet others -- to be open to friendship. Seeking understanding of and from others is the first step to finding a fulfilling sexual relationship." Abenda came in to write this: "The earth plane offers many tests. Your growth opportunity is to open to life and love in this incarnation. You can have what you do desire. Close your hands (you're no longer standing outside the church), and learn to give this time around. Later, what you give will be returned to you many times over."
Q. When my husband's best friend Steve died of cancer nine years ago, his death was devastating to my husband. They were like brothers. Steve's death was the beginning of our marital problems; we have been fighting ever since. We tried counseling but stopped because my husband felt it was my problem, not his. The day Steve died, so did my husband. I have gained over 100 pounds due to the unhappy and stressful marriage. My children feel the stress and negativity. Our family is tearing apart. I believe that my husband and Steve had very strong ties, some kind of karma that needed to be worked out. I would like to know what? I'm on medication for the stress, and I don't like it. Please advise as to what force is making me so unhappy. Jacqueline A. Brooks A. A man named Frank Haskell came in to respond to you. He was tall, thin, with reddish brown hair, brown eyes and an easy manner. This is what he had to say: "The current situation is a karmic reflection of your previous lifetime with your current husband, who was a husband in a Quebec incarnation. You had five children you loved very much. During the winter your husband and son went off to hunt and bring back wood. The son was killed by a charging moose, and your husband was heart broken. But you never forgave him for his negligence in caring for the child. You became bitter and silent, and it was the end of your happy household. "Again, someone precious to your husband has passed on. This time you were not as emotionally involved. But for your husband, the event triggered unconscious emotional guilt, blame, and feelings that life isn't fair. You are paying for your cruel emotional selfishness in the previous life. The death was Steve's karma for reasons I do not know without investigating. The situation offers you the opportunity of soul growth. You need to learn compassion and understanding, and your husband must learn to release the old pain. Counseling would help you both find the goodness in life once again." Abenda added this short note: "Death is only a transition. You evolve with the people you love and who love you. Use this opportunity. Love never dies."
Q. Four years ago, I fell madly in love with a married woman. Our relationship was passionate, loving, and sacred to both of us. When we were together, it was as if we had known each other before. Then she returned to her estranged husband. I was devastated, fell into a deep depression and contemplated suicide. I drove through town at night crying in anguish and feeling parts of my insides being ripped out of me. Fortunately, with the help of friends, I was able to climb out of my black hole. Today, I am living with a wonderful woman I love very much. I credit her for releasing me from my emotional numbness, but occasionally, I think about her. I have tried to forgive her and forgive myself but I'm still haunted by questions. What was the lesson here? What karma needed to be completed? And above all, what will be the fate of my four-year-old son who was the result of our relationship? I've never met him. Michael A. Malone A. A woman named Belinda Isabelle wrote the following: "You left us all in our last life together. We made out okay on the farm in Kentucky. But you never came back, and we missed you terribly. This time you were not allowed to take someone away from their family. "Your son in this life will be fine. He is well cared for, and later you may contact him, but not until he is a man. You are to let the karma be ... let the peacefulness be. If you were to make any contact the child's mother would have to reject you." Someone named Barnes wrote this: "Seek fulfillment in your life, Michael, but not with the woman and child. The child was born into the situation with full awareness of the karmic implications. He will know of you in your latter life, and then you can make him your friend."
Q. It's been a tough road, but I'm aware of the path I've been on for 15 years or more. I lost my son Alex in 1984 and had a serious car accident in 1989 that left me crippled to some extent. I handle it all, because my life is very meaningful. But I'd like to know if there is a power that is keeping me from attaining my visions. I'm under a lot of stress, but Dick's tapes are helping me control my negative energies. How can I remove myself from this old moldy energy? Is there a rainbow in my future? P.S.: Practice makes perfect!!! Have I answered my own question? Keep up the beautiful work. Glenda Toro A. Abenda wrote the following: "Yes, practice (cause and effect) makes perfect. Your son Alex senses your love and your pain. He feels that you unconsciously blame yourself for particular situations that were his karma, and he wants you to know that you did fine raising him as you did. He was glad you were his mother. Take time to appreciate the life he led. And know it is time to release yourself to enjoy your own life. "He wants me to tell you, ‘Take the baseball glove and put it away.’" Someone named Phyllis wrote this: "You are in the process of rising above pain and turmoil, and in so doing you will have the opportunity to fulfill your visions. Your karma brings you friends and love as special gifts in this life. "It never seems fair that the life you labor to bring into the world must leave before you. In an English lifetime, Alex was your brother, you were the older sister. You died of typhoid fever, leaving him alone. He missed you very much. This time, once his work was done, it was his choice to leave first. "Yes, a rainbow will light your path, and happiness and contentment await." _________________________ May, 1993 Questions and answers about devastating life changes, the death of two sons, a self-destructive daughter, and more. _________________________ This column explores some extreme karmic tests. In reading the letters, I am awed by the resilience of the human spirit. The fact that so many people are open to seeking answers from the spirit world, still surprises me. But from an earthly perspective, it's sometimes difficult to find justice in our experiences until we are aware of the karma, which is often a difficult time of testing. My heart goes out to all the letter writers represented in these pages, and to the many others who have written that I'm unable to respond to in this issue. I hope in sharing the communications of my guide Abenda and the spirit contacts, you are encouraged to make contact with your own guide and friends on the other side who are always ready to point you in the right direction. Ask and you will receive. Many of you have written telling me about contacting your guide with the assistance of my Automatic Writing meditation tape. Your letters are appreciated. Abenda and I also want to thank you for your encouraging response to our new book, Blame It On Your Past Lives.
Q. I lived a financially and professionally secure life for 25 years with my husband and two children. Then in February 1990, several negative events began happening in rapid succession and in increasingly devastating order. Let me list the events chronologically. 1. Hysterectomy: In February 1990, after five "second" opinions, I submitted to a complete hysterectomy for fibroid tumors. My husband and children were so supportive that the hospital commented on our warm family. 2. Private Practice: Four months later, in June of 1990, I took a big step into private practice with another woman. My husband lent us $10,000 to start our practice. The business failed within six months. 3. Mastectomy: Nine months after the hysterectomy, I had a modified radical mastectomy due to the estrogen replacement patch that I wore after the hysterectomy. I did not need chemotherapy. Instead, I am taking tomoxifan for five years. My husband told me that there was not a "snowball's chance in hell" that he would ever leave me. 4. Brain Tumor: One month after the mastectomy, a routine bone scan indicated a brain tumor. My oncologist told me that, while it was not related to the breast at all and was totally benign, it still had to come out. It was in a good spot for removal. About this time, my husband began spending more and more time with his office partner, a female college professor, in research and writing projects. 5. Break-In: In January 1991, my house was broken into. My 25 year collection of Indian jewelry and the antique jewelry my husband's parents had left him were stolen. Also, at this point, our savings account had been decimated by a bad investment. 6. The Split: On March 3, 1991, my husband left me. My brain surgery was scheduled for April 30, 1991. I postponed it twice, until October 1991. I was in terrible emotional shape. The tumor depressed my coping skills and all I could do was cry. My business partner refused to pay any rent on the lease to which we were bound for the next two years. At the date of this writing, January 1993, I am happy. I broke off with the business partner after much difficulty, and my divorce will be final in April 1993. My husband appears happy; he is living with his office partner, who left her husband and three children. My adult children are doing fine now, although they grieve for the family they used to have. I am starting a new position in Los Angeles in the area of the law that I love the most. I feel that life now has much good in store for me, but I can't help wondering why I had to go through so much. Did I leave someone and devastate a family in a past life? Is it my karma to pay for such a past action in this life? Colleen Fahey A. Automatic writing received from a man named Franklin F. Wentz: "Colleen has been on a journey of testing in the last few years; she is to release this pain in her life and go forth into a time of renewal and faith. She feels that she can't control events in her life. This is correct -- she can't control everything. Many things have happened to her that were set up in the interim between lives. The pain she has experienced puts her in a position to help others, whose pain she can empathize with now. She chose these circumstances to further her growth. Colleen knows what a different person she is today; she need only open her heart to others. "In one of her past lives, she was a just politician in a small town in France. She has been called again to serve and guide others and will gladly do it. In another past life, she was hard of hearing, and couldn't explain herself to others. During that lifetime she received no recognition and feels compelled to seek recognition in this lifetime. Others took advantage of her in that lifetime, but she needed to experience it in order to learn to be just and fair. In this life, she has begun to hear many levels of people at once. She is listening now in a universal sense." A young girl named Agatha, about 11 or 12 years old, wearing a ribbon in her long blonde hair, came in to write this: "Colleen needed to experience these hard times because she feels guilty, but the reasons for her guilt aren't valid any more. She was my sister, Claudia; we lived in a fine house outside of Gstaad. She was two years older than me. We loved each other very much. We were not allowed to climb trees like other children, but we did anyway. One day, I fell from a tree and hurt my head very badly. I became blind a few months later, and then my brain hemorrhaged and I died. Colleen felt like it was her fault for not looking after me, but it was not her fault. It was simply an accident. I'd like my sister to forgive herself. "Her soul remembers me and the lessons I brought to her. She will no longer have physical pain and she can get into the joy of helping children and others who need her. This is her future direction. I shower her with much love and light, as droplets of rain on her face." Abenda came in to add this: "We don't always recognize our path until it steps on our toes and points the way. When we gain too much comfort and happiness, we forget to work upon our earthly purpose. With the help of our tests to remind us, we go into the future with wisdom and truth to share with others. Our gifts are strong and direct, the haze of earth consciousness sometimes veils our service, so we seek to remind ourselves. We can be very brave when choosing those earthly tests, for pain in the material world is hardship. Always look for the gift -- there is always one attached to every situation."
Q. I need your help desperately. I have one child, a 17-year-old son. Since I was told I could never have children, he is my miracle child. The problem is that he can't seem to stay out of trouble. He has constant behavior problems and has gotten into trouble with the police several times. He feels like rules are not for him. An even bigger problem is that he holds everything in. He always says it's his problem and he will work it out. We've been to counselors, physicians and even psychics. One psychic told me he had been killed in Vietnam in a previous life, and another told me he had sold his soul in a previous life and now has entities attached to his soul in this life. Please ask Abenda to help me. I can't let him suffer forever. Thank you for your time. JoLene Collins A. A woman named Bianco Melanzeska came in to respond to you. This is what she had to say: "Your son is okay in his being, he is only mixed up about the love of his family. He gets into trouble but he knows not to do this. All he wants is to be popular and to fit in. "You need to talk to him about changing his environment. Ask him if he'd like to join the armed services -- they can help keep him under control and he will be cared for and popular among his peers. He must recognize his social behavior as a crippling factor in his life. The time is soon coming when pranks will no longer be allowed. He knows you truly want to help him, but everyone reaches a time when they grow up. He will make this choice soon, and gain self-esteem and direction in life. He will go forth as a leader and will seek to help others in time." Abenda added this note: "You are going through a time of trial. Gabe is trying to break free; you must help him to attain a whole perspective. You must be his friend and let him be. When he has needs, you will reciprocate, but he must know that you will not tolerate his destroying the life you have given him. He must learn to accept your feelings as you have taken account of his. To have your friendship in the future, he must be a friend in return." Another woman named Candlina Douneen added this: "In time, you two will be very good friends. Keep reaching out to him, but do it as a friend, as Abenda suggested. This will make him more receptive. Realize that you may have to make important decisions but you will come out whole and loved when the path is found."
Q. My son Steven shot himself in June 1991 and died the next day. He was only twenty-three years old. I felt his presence lingering for a few weeks after he died, then I didn't feel it anymore. Then, almost three months later, I received a call that another son had drowned. I know there are no accidents in life but I wonder why two of my sons died within less than three months. Was this karmic? I know that death is only a transition but my pain is so intense. Please ask your guide Abenda if she can contact the boys. I need something to give me the peace of mind to go on. D'Arcy Loveteu A. A big, blocky male entity with light brown hair appeared and wrote this: "I am searching for Steve but he does not come to me. I was the one guiding him through life, but he went away from the family and I followed to save him. If he comes back to me, I can help him. I didn't mean to hurt my family, but my only desire is to help Steve. "I find that I am to relax and go with the flow of this place. Although it is different here, it is just another world connected to our world. Sometimes I am with others, sometimes I am alone, but I've had no real loneliness other than missing Steve. I want you to know that I am fine. Don't worry about me. I cared about you, the family and my friends very much. I hope I can be here for you whenever you need me." --Love, Jimmy An entity named Natanial Marcs added this: "You must not be saddened by the loss of your sons. It is not a time of sorrow for Steve -- he is resting. This is why he is not able to hear Jim now -- he is rejuvenating his soul as his transition was fast. Jim cannot go with me to check on Steve, but I hope to help him understand that he can see Steve when he awakens. Though they didn't seem that close when they were on the earth plane, in many ways their connection was strong. They helped each other then and will help each other again when Steve awakens. "Their past together includes lives in the service of brotherhood. They were together in the army when Steve carried a wounded Jim to safety in Nazi Czechoslovakia. In another life they were lepers, stoned and chased away from Jerusalem. There is a strong need in each to help the other make major transitions. This time, Jim voluntarily left life to help Steven. They are doing what they were meant to do; you are not to despair."
Q. My daughter is mentally ill and alcoholic. She has been in and out of institutions for the last five years. She has been suicidal, self-abusive (cutting herself with razors and burning herself with cigarettes) and has had all sorts of hallucinations. Therapists have diagnosed her as manic-depressive with a borderline personality disorder. One believes she has multiple personality disorder. She was always a difficult child and had a poor self-image that her mother and I tried to bolster. We didn't realize at the time that she was mentally ill and that part of her illness was to reject all positive input and to exaggerate all negative input. She rejected most of our attempts to hug and kiss her even when she was very small, saying 'don't touch me.' She now believes (with the support of her therapists) that her problems are because she was abused as a child, deprived of social contact and sexually abused by me, none of which is true. In spite of her accusations, she continues to be extremely dependent upon us. Her mother and I have endured much pain and emotional turmoil in the last few years and have sought to help in any way we could, only to be rebuffed. Can you contact her guides? Is this a residual effect of a past life or did someone abuse her as a child? Is there anything we can do that will help her? So far, our efforts have been counterproductive. Name & Address A. A gentleman named Laurence Tenlenton stepped forward to write this: "She is a very rebellious young woman who clings to her parents while screaming for them to leave her alone. She has drained this family of its life force -- the mother feels completely rejected and the father is anxious, nervous and exhausted. They must realize this is a karmic phase and that it shall pass. First, they both need to replenish themselves. While their daughter is confronting her fears, they must give up their own fears and learn to relax and have fun again. Wisdom erases karma. If they can learn not to resist her, they can find some peace of mind. "You ask why you came together with this child -- remember that you did choose to care for her. In your last phase on earth, you were a very sick adolescent. When you didn't get your way, you threw horrible fits, banging your head on the walls and the floor, bringing great pain to those who watched over you. At the age of seventeen, you committed suicide. Your wife had similar experiences. She was a jailer who took pleasure in punishing wayward prisoners in Rome. She carries much guilt from that lifetime and must watch her child be tortured mentally in this life. "As for your child: she will learn to have a new life, but this won't happen for many years as she has no stability. In time, she will become a solid, dependable person and have a fairly normal life. Be wise, be patient, be content and seek happiness. Be at peace and do your best to rise above this karma. I will help you when you need me." Abenda added this: "You must be strong and brave while facing your path. Look to the four directions and make choices that will bring you peace and serenity. You will learn much from your experience, and you must support others in need. I wish you luck."
Q. After twenty-three years of marriage, I developed breast cancer. Prior to this, I had quelled my fear of menopause with estrogen replacement therapy. After surgery, I told my surgeon that cancer treatment didn't seem important since, being unable to use the estrogen therapy any longer, I would be better off dead. I suspect a past-life reason for the intensity of my pain. Menopause makes me feel ugly, damaged, unclean, unworthy of a place in society, cut off from life and love. For the last eight months, I have been unable to put on a skirt, touch a piece of jewelry, or wear make-up. I am trying to cleanse myself through alternative therapies, but feel that I am drowning instead. If you can gain insight that will help me find a way to make peace with what is left of myself, I would be so very grateful. Carol (Name Withheld) A. A woman named Petrancia Melskovina wrote the following: "Carol feels dirty and abused. Life is treating her poorly and she thinks she's going insane with the worry and feelings of unworthiness. She wants to live and be normal again. Why she can't is the way of her attainment -- Carol is being tested. She must get herself together so that she will be of support to others who need her guidance. But I cannot reach her to tell her this because she is in such a depressed and hysterical state. Please let her know that I care and am trying to help her find a way to ease her pain. "First, she must begin to love herself again. She is bright and intelligent, and knows that she is being too hard on herself. She must forgive herself. It would help her to join a support group, to talk with others who have traveled a similar road. She must discipline herself and make the effort to eat well and dress nicely. She should take some vitamins. Helping others learn to cope with cancer would help build her sense of self-esteem. "In a past life in Poland in 1695, she was a young gypsy girl with syphilis. She gave many men this disease, although she didn't know it. Eventually, the syphilis destroyed her body and killed her. She must let the guilt from this past life go, and mentally cleanse her soul and body. This is something she must do on a continual basis. For now, please let her know that she will gain help and guidance from others. She needs only to ask and she will receive." Abenda added this: "We spoke of cancer in Tara's book. You must let go of negativity. You can do it. Your mind is like a powerful motor -- gear it to full power and it will help you overcome any adversity. 'I am well' are your key words." _______________________ September, 1993 Questions and answers about a stillborn child, the death of a sibling, family tragedy, lack of prosperity, life directions, and more. _______________________ Though we may feel our problem is unique, the common thread of humanity we share lets us see ourselves through others and their problems. Whatever dilemma or crisis we face, others have also experienced. Of course, we are on our own personal journey and everything we experience is colored by our viewpoint, but many other people can identify with our problems and offer solace and understanding. We all have karma to resolve and lessons to learn; by facing the learning opportunities each problem brings, we can learn to bring order into our consciousness. Life on the earthly plane offers much wonder and joy, but there is a price to be paid. The price required is that we hold onto the light and find our own peace, that inner sense of balance and harmony that will enable us to connect with others. But we don't have to do it alone. Everyone alive on planet Earth has a guardian angel who offers us love and acceptance. Your angel may not be able to give you money or save you from your own actions, but they are your own cheerleading squad. They are yelling as loud as they can for you to do the right thing, to allow love and miracles into your life, to overcome pain and learn your lessons so you may extend generosity to others. Abenda says these things are beyond the reach of no one; all that is necessary is to reach out. As Abenda says, "It starts with you." Abenda and I thank you for your continued letters and encouragement.
Q. A year after my baby was stillborn, I became extremely paranoid, severely depressed and suicidal. Since then, every year I seem to fall apart during the month of May, which is when I lost the baby. This problem is getting so bad that I am afraid to be around other people because of it. I used to get along with children but now I am afraid of them. What did I do in a past life to end up with this karma, and what can I do to get on the right path to live a normal life? I also have a problem expressing myself and understanding others. I might as well be speaking a foreign language because when people speak to me I am not sure what they mean. My perception of things seems to be all mixed up. Am I losing my mind? Will I have to be committed? Name & Address A. A woman named Helena Matussan came in to respond to you. This is what she had to say: "You have become very unbalanced with the lost chance of motherhood and love. Logically, you know that you are being unrealistic, but you are expressing your sadness in the wrong way, suppressing your need for love and comfort. You can have it if you ask your friends and family members. There are many who understand your pain and unhappiness. You must begin to draw your strength back to yourself; it is only because you are blocking your emotions and your strength that the feelings of madness and insanity have started to swirl around you. "You must allow yourself to mourn the loss of your baby. Although you wanted the child to enhance your life, the child would have had a life of chaos and confusion. Your other lifetimes with the child were full of responsibility and great sacrifice, but you learned your lesson through wisdom and didn't need to experience that lesson again. Remember that the baby is someone you know on a superconscious level, where you both agreed to have this experience. "You can have another child, and you will bring someone with more love and respect for you. There is someone who waits, it is only your choice. You must not feel as though you have failed; you must soar with the oneness of the spirit, as we are all one. On the earth plane, there are many lessons to learn. You are learning, and attaining love and light. Do not be sad -- draw strength into your body, absorb the love that is there for you, and send love as you are released from the burdens of your karma." Note from Abenda: "You are not alone. You must be brave and attach your thoughts to the positive vibration of life. You will love again; you must be patient and accept Helena's guidance. Change your viewpoint and channel your anger and repression into positive ways and you will find happiness in life."
Q. My brother was killed in a truck accident in 1977; he was 21 years old. The accident was strange because my brother was driving on a straight stretch of roadway. The truck held no cargo, so there was no load factor to influence the accident. Even more heartbreaking, the day he died was his first anniversary and his wife was three months pregnant. His relationship with his wife and his family -- mother, father, me -- was a very positive, stable, loving one. We have never understood the accident. There were no structural defects in the truck. There was no reason to suspect a suicide. Since his death, I have felt his presence around me frequently, as if he wants to communicate something. My father has taken my brother's death very hard, and I would like to bring Dad some message or explanation that could comfort him. Can you help? Sharon (Name Withheld) A. Sharon's brother Dennis appeared and wrote this: "Please let go of the sad and woeful thoughts about my death. I had to leave; it was a fateful day, a very confusing time for me until I realized I could go anywhere and do anything. Then I began to like this place, even though it is really an odd place; the boundaries are not those of the world. You can do something for me -- have Dad release me. It was not his fault, nor anybody else's. I had a heart arrhythmia and blacked out for a few seconds, but that was all it took. I lost control of the truck and the rest is history. I hope none of you blame yourselves for what happened; I love all of you very much. I send much love and appreciation to all of you, and wishes for many happy times in your future. I know you will enjoy the rest of your life. I love you." Note from Abenda: "When a loved one dies, it is very hard on the family. We know this from experience. You can become emotionally blocked and not experience as fully as you ought. As you have been given a practical intelligence, you must be thoughtful. Have a deep affection for Dennis, but let the deceased be bathed in light, for then you are a true friend. This will fulfill your healing of yourself and your parents' hearts."
Q. This has been a very difficult year for us and I wonder if you might consult Abenda and the others. My philosophy of karma sustains me most of the time, yet every now and then, I wonder "why?" Last fall, my husband underwent radiation therapy for cancer. In January, our oldest daughter was in a head-on car crash and sustained multiple injuries. Because of the bruised lungs she suffered in the accident, she contracted Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome, from which few survive. She was on total life support in the intensive care unit for six weeks, and another month in the regular ward. She developed peritonitis, requiring six surgeries. "Before she left the hospital, my husband's aortic valve closed, and he had to have open heart surgery. He had multiple complications, and after three weeks, he was sent home to die, although once home, he began to improve and is now doing well. My second daughter has developed several complications after the birth of her third child. Our son, a bi-polar depressive, just terminated his fourth marriage. I know you must be inundated with requests from people with problems, but I am hoping you and the guides can help shed some light on this for me. Aline Ball A. A dark-haired young woman named Clarice Patan wrote this response: "You were a nurse in many past lives, and have nursed many back to health. Because you have been given a sound mind and good judgment, you chose this path so you could help your loved ones overcome their burdens. You are a tower of strength to others in their time of trouble as you are aware of what is needed -- the armament of the soul: knowledge, wisdom and grace. "The nursing is not over for you yet; you will continue to follow the path of goodness and light, and teach others to have strength. You may not need to achieve great works. Being a kind and understanding friend is worth much toward your soul's progress. You can help others achieve kind and loving ways by your example. Even though you have suffered greatly, you have also gained much. "Although each person must find their own way into the light at their own speed, you made a karmic decision to help those around you, and alleviate as much pain as possible. So gain a heart full of understanding and love, and share your wisdom, love and healing touch with others." Note from Abenda: "It is hard to watch others suffer because we ourselves suffer in the process. But to gain insight into what we can do to help others is a blessing, whether others follow your lead or not. Karma is another facet of our own personal journey. The wisdom is easily attained but sometimes hard to embrace. Learn and grow. Call in the source of the light to alleviate the burdens."
Q. I have been using your Automatic Writing Tape and am getting a great deal of insight and comfort from it. I have been using it daily, and am amazed at the answers I have received. I have encountered one obstacle. I have been laid off three times in the last six years. Up to this point, I haven't enjoyed the prosperity that I would like to have. Since this is a recurring pattern, I apparently haven't learned the lesson yet. I need to know what I should release and forgive. I have tried to get the answer while doing automatic writing, but don't feel I can face it alone. Mary Hendricks A. A small woman in fancy gabardine clothes named Patricia Marakarina wrote this: "You must know that all is going to be going smoothly for you. You must find the faith to go forward and receive the help you need. If you are friendly and helpful, you will accomplish much more than by being reserved and holding yourself back. To be resentful of others does not become you; you must learn to let the little things go. You are wondering what you must do to acquire the material needs of your existence. Of course you need to pay your bills, but will you be happy with no other goals? Don't you want to feel needed by others? Responsibilities need not be burdensome -- they can be joyful. "In Prussia, you were happy, working as a gardener in a beautiful castle and growing and nurturing beauty. The castle was inherited by a man who was angry and reclusive. He turned you out of your position at the castle. You were unable to find another position as a gardener, so you became a dairyman, taking milk to market. You did not enjoy this work, but you had to feed your family. You were never able to rise above your circumstances in that life. Now you've been given the opportunity to think of what you would like to do. Are you going to make ends meet or are you going to allow yourself to do what you love? Life will be good to you. You may not always make a lot of money, but as long as you can enjoy the wondrous small things in life, you will feel blessed to be alive." Note from Abenda: "Karma works in different ways for each individual. Even though you may view your circumstances unfavorably, there is always a lesson attached to every experience. Look for the gifts, have faith, grow, and learn. Enjoy the fruits of your labor."
Q. As a minister, you'd think I'd have every reason to have joy in my life, but it's just not there. Last April I had to make a conscious decision whether to remain on this earth plane or not. I'm still here, and with the help of a shaman, have regained my passion for life. I was divorced after 17 years of marriage, and have remained single for the last 22 years. I have had several relationships with married men who were unavailable for a commitment or with single men who were emotionally unavailable. I want to break this vicious cycle and don't have a clue how to do it. I'm also trying to decide whether to continue in this ministry or do something else. It's not been as satisfactory as I'd hoped, and I must make a decision soon. Can you please help clarify this for me? May you continue to bless and heal others with your life's work. Rev. Sandy Benson A. A tall man in white robes named Philas Mozaxa wrote this response: "You wish to seek truth and the positive qualities in all men and beasts, but you have resistance on your choice of location. You needn't be here at this time; you could go to many places that serve you better, and enable you to serve others. Your life will be fulfilled in many wonderful ways, but you must have some clarity of vision. You have been called upon to add a dimension of hope to people who need a sense of belonging. This will fulfill your own search to belong. You desire to create a refuge for others to come and experience oneness, but you are experiencing a dilemma in your choice for this refuge. You must go where you can help many more. "In a past life you were a Greek courtesan. You spoke of wisdom and the nature of love, but you were used for love and your wisdom was seldom heard. You resented this, so you reincarnated in many lifetimes as monks and priests. You want a more stable life along with spiritual direction. It is only your need to gain patience and let others know you are interested. You are loved."
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