 |
|
|
||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
 |
||||
1995 "Cause & Effect" _____________________________ January 1995 Through automatic writing, Tara's spirit guide Abenda answers questions about a drowned son, a mother's concern for her institutionalized son, and life-threatening depression. _____________________________ We receive many samples of metaphysical products, and Richard and I try to evaluate most of them. "Mindwaves" goggles claimed to generate an effortless meditative state, so I put them on and soon started to see swirls of light. As an experiment, I asked to go very deep into hypnosis to view my past lifetimes in fast-forward -- just an image of each person in action, no other details. Wow! Did it work. I recognized faces and sensed a familiarity with activities and careers. I found myself thinking, no wonder I'm attracted to this and have an aversion to that. So many memories -- male, female, attractive, plain, ugly, big, small, and all races. It was an overwhelming experience and when complete, I retained a heightened awareness of the importance of resolving our karmic relationships as positively as we know how. My father is in the final stages of liver disease (brought on by hepatitis, which ruled him out as a transplant candidate). Over the last several months I've thought a lot about the karma we share. We've had many psychic experiences together. Although he has never accepted my metaphysical ideas, he knows his spirit guide well. Five years ago, when he was in a coma, I went into hypnosis to make contact with his guide. I learned her name and asked her many questions. When he came out of the coma he told me about a woman who had been there with him and mentioned her name--the same name I had received directly from her. Consulting with Abenda about my dad's condition, she told me he would recover and said, "He'll have five good years living on the mountain with his dog." She was right. Now the five years are up. Today, in a semi-conscious state, he calls out, "Should I follow her?" And I know his guide is beckoning. The last five years, even more than before, I've tried to make the right choices so that karmically my dad and I are positively positioned for future incarnations. Working as a team with my brothers and sister, we've all sought a balance and to make our father's final months as peaceful as possible. No doubt, we will incarnate together in some future time to offer each other solace and differences of opinion. Again, Abenda has forewarned me every step of the way. In mid-December she wrote, "Your dad has little time left. Upcoming you will place him in a hospice, so prepare your heart as well as your mind ... and prepare his place in all aspects. You gain through expressing your positive, uplifting attitude. To gain in life is often a painful process, but use the awareness to teach your own children and those around you to be gracious and knowing -- not to take for granted the rapport of love you feel for one another. "Your dad wants to come here, but his body will survive a little longer. You mustn't hold on to him too tight. The cycle of life shows itself to you. You must accept this and know that he now moves on to another cycle and phase. He will be relieved when the transition is made. And in his passing, you will all come to better understand yourselves, and you will value your earthly lives that much more." The following are responses Abenda chose for this column. To the many who have written, sharing their pain and desires, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I wish we could respond to everyone, but the volume is far beyond our capabilities. (Note: Richard McKean crossed over January 12, 1995.)
Q. I hope you and Abenda can help me find the answers I need. My son drowned this year; it was a stupid accident that shouldn't have happened. He was just getting his life together, or so it seemed to me. I would like to know if he's happy and at peace, and also if he knew how much he was loved. His father and I didn't tell him that very often, and we regret that. We miss him so much. Judi Brown A. A young woman named Apartina Gallopi came in to say this: "You mustn't mourn Keith. He is now with me and others -- we have helped him to rehabilitate himself and learn the ways of empathy -- something he seemed to lack when living on the earth plane. He will do well when he has the chance to go there again. For now he recuperates and learns positive steps for his future. He has decided he wants to learn. He knows he didn't give his life much of a chance. He feels he can't be too sorry though as that is what his life was and it has helped him to understand now. He knew you loved him, you really didn't need to say it. Your actions were always meant to help him. He always knew you only wanted to help. He thanks you for your patience and caring. He sees your life before him and knows you have a graceful future. He wishes you love and kindness. "I was his sister in Sicily. I came to help him now because he helped me in that lifetime. I was thrown from a horse, and he took care of me during the many months I suffered before dying." Note from Abenda: "I know that life is difficult when you feel sad that you may not have given enough of your time, energy or kind words to your loved ones -- especially your children. Many take their children for granted. But it is okay -- Keith knew you loved him. Your kindness and caring were demonstrated in many ways. It is the nature of children to find their way in the world, and even though they frequently encounter struggles and setbacks, this is their birthright -- to struggle and make right what has come to them before. Keith picked you as parents because of the choices and decisions you would make. He leaves you in this lifetime, but he has learned much and has grown into a better soul, so that in the future he can be more, not only for you, but for himself. He has gained bravery and empathy. It will be hard for you and his father, but Keith wants you to wish him peace as he will wish you peace and oneness."
Q. When my 46-year-old son returned from service in Vietnam, he was schizophrenic. But with medication, he was able to live a fairly normal life alone. However, a few months ago, a cyst was removed from his armpit, and he was given a clean bill of health (no cancer). After that, he went into a physical decline, losing 40 pounds, and began experiencing severe mental problems that led him to the V.A. hospital in Philadelphia. The doctors there have told me he is delusional and he is so heavily medicated that he can scarcely speak. He will no longer be able to live alone. He is my only child and I am 77 years old, so I am tremendously concerned about his future. Is it his destiny to live the rest of his life institutionalized? Is there something I should do that I haven't done? Can I reach him in any way? Thank you so very much for your guidance and insight from Abenda. Mrs. Enis Best A. A woman named Georgina Flortensky wrote this: "You have tarried and toiled much too hard and long over your son. He finds it hard to help himself, but you have been an excellent mother -- so devoted. "In a past life, you were a young girl in Mesopotamia. An army chieftan took you for his slave girl -- you did everything for him, cooking and cleaning. He never slept with you; he had others who fulfilled that purpose. But when he went to battle, he killed many people in villages, and enslaved many women and children. So, you see, he has had to come back to this life and endure much pain. Again, you have been devoted and caring. You have helped him endure, and you will be remembered in many future lives as a dear, dear friend, and he will become a better person after this life. He is in excruciating mental pain at times, feeling as though he's being tortured by the enemy, and having the lump removed increased the paranoia he feels toward others. You can only grant him your love as peace will be fleeting in this life for him. It is time you find some peace." Note from Abenda: "You must look to the sunrise and give thanks for all you have and gain peace of mind. You are a saint who comes to help others who cannot help themselves. You wonder why you are in this spot, but you have helped the sick and wounded in many lifetimes. Your chieftan came to save you in one lifetime and you became his personal saint. He knew you would care for him as he suffered throughout this life. He is lucky to have you, as he hasn't many friends in this or other phases. "You must now prepare yourself. He will be well cared for; he doesn't ask for much, as you know. It is not likely he knows right now the worry you feel for him. Do not worry -- now it is time to concentrate on your being happy and joyful. Meditate upon this. I wish you peace."
Q. Please help me. My problem is severe mental depression -- I can't count the number of doctors and psychiatrists I've seen and the medicines I've been prescribed. Nothing has helped me. I seem almost to have been born depressed. My first memories are of being a sad little girl who never fit in with my family or my peers. I married to escape a bad home life. Only after my son was born did I begin to feel alive. From that time on, life was so beautiful and I gained so much confidence, I felt I could do anything I wanted to do. After my daughter was born, we discovered my husband had cancer. In spite of this, we had a happy family life and he lived, fighting the disease, for twelve more years. Both our children were bright, beautiful, and good. My son, however, was more my friend and mentor than my child. His influence changed me into a good person. He was unusual from the moment he was born, like an old, wise person in a small child's body. But, just weeks before his father's death, my son was killed. In the five years since, I have come to terms with his passing, but I feel so tired, it is hard to go on. My mental state is now affecting my physical well-being. I fear I am not giving my best to my daughter, whom I am so blessed and grateful to have. I believe my son's short life was supposed to teach me some profound lesson but what is this lesson? During the year following his death, his spirit tried to reach me, but debilitating grief caused me to refuse his overtures. Now I wish I could have that chance again. I must be both deaf and blind. I am ready to learn, but can't seem to find the teacher. Sheila Joyner A. A woman named Charmaine entered to say this: "You mustn't be afraid of your emotions; you must feel them. Let your grief be heard. You know you have been very brave. You need not think that you will go crazy, and only because you have loved so much! There's a saying: 'It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.' You have a wellspring of emotions inside you that you are trying to shut off by taking pills. This isn't your answer. So you will have to tear yourself away from your pills and self-pity and start joining the rest of the humans surrounding you. They have problems and self-pity, too. You need to breathe deeply and concentrate on gaining some goals. You are going to have to change your mindset. Include your daughter--you don't always get along with her, but she is your daughter and she needs you. Start gaining some perspective. Join enthusiastic activities, make friends with people who will take your mind off your woes, not that I am trying to downplay your feelings, it's just that it is time to move on, sweetheart, okay? "I was your mammy in a past life in Alabama. I raised you and your sisters while your parents were busy with the plantation and their social life. We were happy until the Civil War came along and your parents lost everything. All the slaves ran away, but I stayed behind with you girls. It was tough -- we lived in some old shacks on your parents property. We didn't light fires at night because it wasn't safe. You were killed accidentally by a Yankee soldier. Your two sisters and I grieved for you -- that is probably why you have been so upset and uneasy in this lifetime. It is time to let go of all this pain and turmoil. I wished for fun and laughter for you in that lifetime as I do in this lifetime. Life isn't fair, you can make it what you will. I'm here to talk with you anytime. I'll wait for you to seek me out. All my love to you." Note from Abenda: "You will come to terms with your sorrow. It is all right to love and feel the need to be loved in return. Life is complex and puzzling for many, as it has been for you. It is time to gain a new viewpoint of what life has to offer. It is time to fly, to feel the weight of your heavy heart and give it the gift of light and freedom. This is a slow process, but you can take leaps and bounds toward feeling oneness with others by starting to connect with them now. "Start with your daughter, who probably doesn't trust you much -- after all, her brother and father left her, so what keeps you from leaving? So you must start connecting and feeling the unity and humanness that you have to offer one another. Also seek out others for fun and fulfillment -- this will be your path to emotional well-being. And when I say fun, I don't mean gregarious activities, I mean worthwhile activities that will give you self-esteem and help build your confidence." ___________________________ June 1995 Through automatic writing, Tara's spirit guide Abenda answers questions about the karma of married lovers, a mother's concern for her dysfunctional daughter, soulmates, and a young girl's fear of men. ___________________________ We recently conducted a "Finding Your Soulmate" workshop for the Learning Annex in New York City. As always, the New York audience was high-energy -- bubbling with enthusiasm--ready to laugh, interact and expand their awareness. During a break, Carolyn Kersey, one of the participants, used a walker to slowly make her way to the podium to speak with me. A diabetic, she'd had all her toes amputated a few days earlier. But her face was beaming and she radiated happiness. Carolyn wasn't looking for a soulmate; she just wanted to sit in because Richard's tapes had helped her so much during and after the surgery. Being surrounded by people looking for soulmates may have seemed trivial in light of her adversity, but she was "just glad to be alive, and to have more time on earth to make a difference." The Oklahoma City bombing is this month's reminder of how unexpectedly life can be cut short. We all need to make each day count -- to do what we can to make a difference ... and to teach our children to make a difference. My own children, Hunter and Cheyenne, sponsor a young boy in Thailand. Although they may never meet, this little boy knows that two children across the world care about him. Our efforts don't have to be on a grand scale; on a karmic checklist, the Universe honors even our smallest attempts to make a difference. My spirit guide Abenda and I thank you and offer light and solace to Carolyn Kersey, those who lost loved ones in Oklahoma City, and all those who have sent me letters sharing their earthly trials and tests. I wish we could answer them all. Abenda chose the following letters, because they will also provide karmic insights to many others.
Q. I met Britt in 1988 when we were both assigned to the same Army battalion. After working together for several months, we became lovers. I fell in love with him and divorced my husband, who I did not love. However, Britt and I did not get together then, and are not together now. Still, despite this, my emotional connection to him has endured and we have seen each other and remained in touch since then. Although he married in late 1988, we resumed our relationship again when we met again at an Army school in 1989. Britt is the love of my life. Why do I feel this connection toward a man who is now married (somewhat unhappily, I might add)? I feel that I have much more to do and learn in this lifetime, some of it with Britt and some of it for myself. But I wonder what his tie to me is and what the lessons are to learn in this lifetime? Jean Barto A. A beautiful young woman named Abath came in to say this: "It is okay that you got divorced. I know you feel you have made many mistakes, but you have not. You are worthy of love, and you must not give up hope. You feel so connected to this man, as though you think he is going to save you but he has in fact abandoned you. That is what needed to be. Now you must have the courage and desire to focus on what you want. You must assess the situations you find yourself in and not put too high an expectation on others. "In a past life in Japan, you were once betrothed to the man you have divorced in this life. You felt obligated and so you married him in this lifetime. Now you need to realize that Britt was only a catalyst to help you let go of the relationship with your husband in this lifetime. Do not feel as though you failed, for you have learned many lessons that you needed to learn." Note From Abenda: "Others do not lead us into our destiny. We ourselves do. Be thoughtful of your direction."
Q. My 16-year-old daughter Lindsay is dysfunctional. Actually, to say she is dysfunctional is an understatement. She has been in therapy since the age of 8, and suffers from attention deficit and learning disorders. Even as an infant she was very difficult and I sensed there was something different about her. She wants life on her own terms (as we all do), but she is very self-destructive. I truly fear for her safety and well-being. She is a chronic runaway, uses drugs, and does not attend school. The last program I had her in was a wilderness program. She was there for five months (she has been in and out of various hospitals and programs for years now). She returned home and it seemed as if the program had worked, but I saw traces of her old behavior patterns within three weeks of her return, and by the time five weeks had gone by, she ran away again. Needless to say, I am broken-hearted. I have done my best to cope with her, but I no longer know what to do. My question to you is, why did she choose me as her mother in this lifetime? What lessons did we need to learn from each other? I wish you could tell me that everything will be all right for her, but I know that is not possible. I know she must follow her own destiny, and that it is out of my hands. How can I find peace and put this in perspective? Lesley Cowan A. A dark-haired young man named Matthew Bradell wrote this: "Lindsay needs you. Your job as a mother will always be to try to help her, as she has helped you in past lives. In one life, you were an Asian warlord. She nursed you through several injuries you sustained in battle. She thought your bravery was fantastic, and she chose the life of a warrior, becoming a Viking in her next life, but her bravery turned brutal. Her perceptions of conquering others went awry, and she now wrestles with those demons in this life. "She will not release this pain in this life. At times she will get better, but she now attacks herself as she has done others in past lives. You must be there for her, and help her try to cope with these emotional wounds. Knowing that you are open to listen to her will help her. But how much can you take? You must allow her to go through channels of help who can assist her. Send her prayers and wish her well -- this will help you attain some composure. "You and I were school friends in Iowa in the early 1900s, and I am always here for you if you need me." Note From Abenda: "There is glamour in war, but what is the gift? And what is the price? Those are the questions you must ask. The answers lie in the goodness of man."
Q. For two years now I have been focused upon attracting my soulmate. I have meditated on this, prayed, visualized, and been to a practitioner for help and guidance. The practitioner told me that I shouldn't want to fall in love in the first place. He told me, "Love is an attachment that keeps us earthbound." I stopped seeking his advice. I believe that as long as what I want does not hurt or adversely affect me or anyone else, that I have the right to want anything. And isn't the study of metaphysics based on the discovery of oneself? If this is so, then this practitioner may have reached a point where he doesn't seek love, but I haven't and to be honest with you, I don't ever want to reach such a point. I am not an unattractive guy nor am I mentally unstable or emotionally unbalanced. I am just looking for that special one to build and share my life with. The one who is right for me; spiritually, mentally and emotionally aligned with me. I know my soulmate and I will be together one day, I just wonder why we aren't together right now. My belief in Spirit is strong, and my commitment to this goal is even stronger. So, after two years, our vibrations should have guided our paths straight to each other. I know everything must follow its natural course and where two are involved, it is not right for one to make selfish demands and set deadlines, but I am lonely. Name Withheld By Request A. A small thin man named Nigengian came in to respond: "Soulmates are people you treasure and hold dear. You must remember this while you are seeking yours. You have become rather jaded lately and have turned your back on others emotionally. In previous lives you exploited love. In France, in 1635, you were a nobleman and fancied all the women of your village and household. You sired many children who you abandoned, and you took absolutely no responsibility for your actions. So, as a result, you have had to learn perspective. Will you find your soulmate? Yes, you will have an opportunity to be with her soon. As soon as you recognize those traits within yourself that have held you back, you will meet your soulmate. Also, do not fear folly; you will gain what you seek."
Q. I am involved in the most unusual and distressing situation of my life. Two years ago, I fell in love with the most extraordinary man I have ever known. Frank had a brutal childhood full of abuse and poverty, and his adult life has been a struggle as well. Despite all this, he has a brilliant, multi-talented mind, and is compassionate, courageous, honest, responsible, witty, and spiritual. He is the greatest teacher, and the only "soulmate" I have ever had. At the time we met, however, he was in terrible condition. A year before, his mentally disturbed wife of twenty years had moved out and left him in emotional and financial ruin. For most of the year before we met, he had been incapable of working. My initial reaction to him was that I liked him but didn't want to be involved in his problems. But after I discovered what a treasure he is, I couldn't help but love him. At the time we met, he was sure his financial circumstances were going to improve. Both of us felt very optimistic about our future together. In the past two years, our personal relationship has been immensely rewarding and mutually sustaining. but Frank's financial situation has continued to be a nightmare. His diligent efforts to get work have been fraught with frustrations and disappointments, unfulfilled promises and broken contracts. He has almost had his home in foreclosure three times. As I write this, he has almost nothing to eat. Were it not for me, he would now be homeless. Although I am unable to support him completely, I have helped him considerably, although he has never asked me for anything but love and companionship. I have done this not just because I love him, but because I recognize his spiritual stature and how important he is to the world, even though he doesn't consider himself to be anyone special. Unfortunately, I am soon going to suffer a drastic cut in income, so much so that I am worried about meeting my own needs. I will no longer be able to help him. Many prayers have been uttered in behalf of this situation, and many tears shed, but nothing changes. What are the karmic reasons for this situation, and what's the best way to handle it? Rachel in Maryland A. A grandmotherly woman named Aganiskana came to answer: "You are there to help balance Frank's life. He doesn't mean to put you through worry, though that does not help because you do worry about him. In his last life, he ran up huge gambling debts in Louisiana, so he now fears having money because he thinks he will be foolish with it. So, in this life he is learning the importance of being responsible and learning to survive. You have chosen to help with his suffering because you were his mother in a past life in Italy. It was a time of famine and children were starving to death, and you promised that it would not happen to your loved ones. You and Frank have been lovers in many past lives. In one life, you lived on an island in the South Pacific; material possessions were not important in that life because you had each other. Continue to love and support each other in this life and all will be well." Note From Abenda: "Love does not have a color, religion or age. Love is the energy of life; it helps you through the pain and sacrifices. Whether it be soulmate or karmic love, let your energy be at peace."
Q. I'm 18 years old and all my life, I've been unable to feel close to men. I am uncomfortable around them. I feel much closer to women and can communicate with them better. I am closer to my brother's girlfriend than I am to my brother. I've never been able to get close to my mother's male friends either. I have no friends who are male. I know I am not gay because I am attracted to men, I just don't feel comfortable around them. I can't even feel comfortable with a male friend in a platonic relationship, because I invariably do something to sabotage the relationship. I don't understand why I can't relate to men. Can you shed some light on why I don't trust men? Kathryn Holmes A. A small-boned Oriental woman named Niki wrote this: "You are very shy and do not trust the motives and desires of others. This is okay. In many of your past lives, you were in war-torn countries, and you still fear men. To you they represent war and death. You need to understand that all men are not equal, so putting labels on them does not work. Make choices carefully, but do not miss the earthly delights of love and oneness by being too fearful. You can have a lifetime of happiness if you allow it to be yours." Note From Abenda: "Although you are youthful, you are also wise. As you grow older and learn of love, hope and trust, this problem will vanish." ___________________________ Web note: In 1995, two catalogs and two issues of Soaring Spirit were mailed. Tara's column did not appear in the catalogs.
Click to go to: |
||||