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1998 "Cause & Effect" ____________________________ January 1998 Through automatic writing, Tara receives answers to questions about a woman in love with a married man, painful karma, being "miserable in a vague way," and contact with a dead son. ___________________________ Late last summer, Abenda began stressing that it's time to watch for signs that will point to changes we'll need to confront as we move into the next century. Listen to the voices that resonate as true. World events will foreshadow tests to come. Environmental conditions will indicate future patterns. When combined, the signs will begin to form a cohesive picture. In addition to being more aware of external signs, it may prove most important to focus upon your inner picture. Your spirituality may be the primary factor governing how you adapt to any transitions. Abenda said in recent writing, "Your karma is elevated by lessons learned and through the expression of compassion." Assuming that we are here on earth to resolve our karma and fulfill our dharma, her words certainly simplify the quest. Maybe the best New Year's resolution one can make is to be more compassionate in 1998. And at this time, I want to offer special thanks to all who wrote to Abenda and me in 1997. I just wish there were a way to respond to everyone individually.
Q. "I am in therapy, but nothing relieves the ongoing sense that I'm failing at all the things most important to me. As a result, I am in a profound sense of despair. Shortly after receiving my Special Education teacher's certification, the disk in my lower spine ruptured and I've spent two years in and out of physical therapy. During this time, I met a married man with whom I have a deep connection, but after a year and a half, he has found another woman. He's still married and he says he still loves me, but is no longer passionately interested in me. "This relationship has driven me to my knees. If it wouldn't devastate my daughter, I'd end it all. I need guidance. What is going on between this man and I? I keep getting signs that seem to indicate that he is my future. If he isn't, am I doomed to be alone? I have been alone for the past 15 years since I ended my abusive marriage. Please help me find some peace." Linda Holmes A. A woman calling herself Anita Hapford came to write. She said she was from England and that the two of you had served together in the early eighteen hundreds. "So many women feel trapped in loveless relationships such as this. If this man no longer cares for you or his wife, why do see yourself as a victim? You know that you didn't like many of his habits, including being unavailable to you. And do you realize that you haven't taken his wife's feelings into consideration? Now look at your own feelings and be aware of the cause and effect. "Why would you want to end your life over a relationship? No person is worth ending your life. You need to look at the karma and what you need to learn. Consider how you block your own progress with self-loathing. "Your past life with this man: country living at its finest in France during the French Revolution. You were a man servant and you loved the lady of the house from afar. You never crossed the boundaries of ill manners. When the fighting approached the estate, you warned the household and everyone fled to safety. The lady of the house was entrusted into your care. You cared for her many years, always aware of your gentlemanly place. "In your current life, the French woman incarnated as the man you love, and this time around, you have shared a relationship. As much as you wanted it to work out, the paths of destiny now separate. You must pursue your dharma and responsibilities, which you have neglected these days. In the future, you will befriend another man who has more of an interest in your life. Count all your blessings. Do not dwell in self pity." Note from Abenda: "It is time to change the direction of your life. You are too absorbed in the realm of 'I,' although you have tried hard not to be. In response to your request for guidance, know that new involvements await if you'll focus upon being of service to others and to the planet. Get involved with life."
Q. "My mother once told me that when I was one hour old, I stared up at her in a 'challenging way.' As a result she says she treated me different than my brothers and sisters. I'm now 62, and I continue to wonder how a new-born baby can challenge anybody. "I was widowed in 1984 after 16 years of marriage. Our daughter was 14 at the time. I had quite a time raising her. She felt that her mother's death didn't affect anyone but her. About this time I developed Crohn's disease, which is hard to deal with since it affects the entire digestive system -- one end to the other. I wonder what I did in a previous life to cause this kind of karma. Gerald Hendrickson A. Reginald Frankan came to write to you, saying, "Although originally Frenchmen, we were explorers together in Tehran in the eighteenth century." "Your mother wasn't challenged by you when you were born. Her life was one of continued depression, and she was very weak and alone at that time. Even though she had people around her, she felt no connection to anyone. "This life relates back to the 1500s in a remote area in Sweden. You and your mother in your current life were then the twin younger brothers in a family that included a stern older brother, older sisters and a stern father. Your mother died in childbirth and the twins were blamed for killing her. This was the karmic plan, and as a result, the two of you became allies in your remote world. The family was unloving, uncaring and resentful. You two were dutiful and if not loving, you did carry your responsibilities well. "When fever broke out, all died but the two of you and two sisters. The sisters were used to being told what to do, so you assumed the dominant role. You blossomed in this position, but your brother resented the fact you were becoming like your father and older brother. He decided to leave and join an army passing by. You never saw each other again. "Before he died in the army, he swore that he would never follow you again. He loved you too much to be near you and didn't trust that you weren't like the others. You waited in vain for his return that life. "This life you followed him. He, as your mother, had asked you prior to her birth not to join her in this life, because she was using the incarnation to clear up some undesirable karma. She wanted to reestablish a long, loving relationship and friendship with you, but this wasn't the life to do that. On a subconscious level she was angry that you incarnated to be with her, but it wasn't because she didn't love you. She loved you too much. She needed to suffer. She didn't want you to suffer. Her anger was toward the energy surrounding the karmic destiny. "She wished to die, but she had to linger many years. This was very hard on you and the health problems you have are related to being unable to let go of your guilt and anger. "You need to create peace with your mother and your departed wife. Your wife was sad to leave your daughter, but your daughter had left her in many lifetimes -- once on the steps of an Italian church -- 1791 in Rome. She was too poor to raise the child, but the child missed her mother all her life. You were the priest who saved her. In their next shared incarnation, your wife and daughter will be devoted with no more karma to work out. "Your current health problems can be helped much more in this life. Continue to seek therapy -- there are remedies for you. You hold on to your life, your way of life, and those you love out of fear. As a result, this condition has surfaced. You need to trust the universe and your karma. Know that you can be worry free and still be in control of your fate."
Q. "I do not wish to clutter your mailbox, but after reading this issue's "Cause and Effect" I wanted to thank you again for loving us. You are an embodied gift to humanity and I love you dearly. I am ashamed to be a nuisance, but I want to ask your help. I am miserable in a vague way and do not know what help to ask for. Will you ask Abenda to examine my life and make a few suggestions? Thank you for your kindness. Brian Albin A. Abenda writes: "Your vague feelings of unease are so unnecessary, for you have a relatively stable life. You have gone through pain and sadness, but you are a self-actualized person who has lived many lifetimes fulfilling compassionate services to mankind as a doctor, priest and caregiver. You rest now, but upcoming you will again begin leading others to hope and understanding. You are getting ready to make changes. Use your empathic abilities. Where are you wanted and needed? What do you want and need? Do not rush to find the answers. Know that you will be given the opportunity to advance your soul in this life."
Q. "My youngest son Sean (24) was killed in September while riding a bicycle on a rainy night. We were very close. Although I accept reincarnation and karma, it is hard to apply the belief to someone I love and miss terribly. "At his grave, I did a psychometry reading: I saw the drunken driver playing tag with my son. Then I saw hundreds of bikes and Sean gave me a huge wave like he was starting up to race. He had a big smile on his face. Then he got serious and rode off a cliff into the clouds. "I doubt the validity of this. I have joined bereavement groups. Is there anything you can tell me that will help me to find peace?" Marianne Pflanz A. Sean and Justina Melbourne both came to write. Justina sent the first message: "Sean will always love you and the family. He is every day in your thoughts, he knows this and wishes you all well. He's sorry to have caused so much pain and sadness, but he wants you to know that he had to go -- his time was over and he hopes he touched your lives in a good way. He wanted to be reckless and free to have some fun -- some laughs -- to live a real life as he had been in such a bad life in his previous incarnation as a prisoner of war during World War II. "Sean needed to go because he will reincarnate next year to a nice family in southern Illinois. Your son has political aspirations and in this next life he will have to be serious and conscientious, for politics will change greatly in the next century. He will be powerful, brave and courageous and in your hearts you will be proud of him. The short good life he led with you will allow him to be stronger in the future. "Send him beautiful thoughts. He receives every one and loves them. Try not to be sad, for this makes Sean feel sad. I am here to console you and the family. Your present family once incarnated together as Indians in the fifteenth century in what is now Wyoming. This was a happy time and subconsciously you all remember it." Sean writes: "I wish to say to my mother and my family that I did not mean to hurt any of them. And in no way would I have died in that way if I was more conscious of my family's feelings. I simply chose a fun way to go. I'm sorry I felt biking was fun, but you all know I did. So you must know it was a recreational death. I couldn't have asked for a better family this time. And I am sorry to all of you for unnecessary times of uncaring and bad manners. I was rude many times and I know I was consciously trying to make my own transition easier by trying not to care so much. But your caring has touched me deeply and I hope to touch your lives when you are old and need me most to help the world become a better place. Be strong. Be the same family I knew and loved. Please! Love you all, Sean." __________________________ April 1998 Through automatic writing, Tara receives answers to questions about isolation, being trapped in poverty, blocks to love and success, and an ancient conflict. __________________________ Once or twice a year my Spirit Guide Abenda does something to prove just how valid and real she is. During one of our recent automatic-writing sessions, we discussed astrology. I asked her about the influence of earthly astrological factors after a soul has crossed over into spirit. "Since I haven't reincarnated with new aspects, my last lifetime affects me still," she said. "Then can I have your past-life birth information?" I asked. Abenda didn't hesitate a moment. "Alban is a tiny town in France near the Spanish border." She then provided her birthday, birth time and reminded me that I had been her mother in an 1800s incarnation. Upon awakening, I tried to find the town on a large map of France we had in our files. No Alban. Maybe it no longer existed? I was disappointed, but decided to check the astrological geography information on our computerized charts in the office computer. There it was, located exactly where Abenda said it would be. Next, I pulled up my guide's astrological information. My head started to swim as I interpreted her chart and combined it with my own. My stellium of Sagittarius (four or more planets conjunct) sat on Abenda's service to mankind with religion, creativity and psi interests, secrets and psychology. She was physically attractive in that past life, very religious, interested in the psychic and nurturing to others. Her "good luck" aspect sits on my partnership aspect. There is much more and it gets very complicated. In summary, I was born on her "service to mankind" aspects and we are now working again to fulfill her karma. It is also quite clear that I owe her karma from a past life. All in all, our combined charts depict exactly the kind of relationship we now share (although she's in spirit and I'm in the physical). The odds of this happening by chance has to be a million to one. Whether my karmic debt relates to the Alban incarnation, I don't yet know. The lifetime was the subject of my first past-life regression -- well before meeting my husband Richard. In 1980, Jess Stearn was writing a new book and as part of his research, he had a hypnotist regress me. In an altered state, I perceived vivid impressions of being a woman adjusting to the difficult changes that followed the bitter French Revolution. Further explorations of the astrological data show that Abenda and Richard once loved each other. My eyes narrowed -- just how much? Hm-m-m-m. Obviously, he too has a major connection with Abenda in this life. Richard and I will be working at the Mind Body Spirit Festival in London, England in May. Afterwards, we plan to travel to Alban to do research. I'm sure Abenda will provide me with more information, and I'm anxious to experience my own reactions to this rural area. In the meantime, my spirit guide continues to demonstrate how life goes on and our work goes on, no matter what vibrational level we are experiencing at the time. Abenda's dedication to helping others obtain awareness seems to be part of my dharma and part of Richard's dharma. It may sound complicated, but it doesn't need to be. Even if you're not in communication with your spirit guide, as long as you follow your heart, you're "doing your dharma" and walking the path you came here to experience.
Q. "What in my past could have created my situation? I have no close family or friends and spend holidays alone. I know I don't deserve this. Who would have participated in creating my isolation and why? I can see why people give up and give in to negativity." Unsigned A. A long-haired woman named Marta, attired in a flowered dress, appeared to write through my hand. "I am a friend from Italy in the 16th century. We were children together, living on a farm -- both girls. We had to work hard but we worked together and talked when we could. We enjoyed each other's company. When you were 15 years old, a neighboring farmer came to ask the landowner if there were any young maidens for his son to marry. You were traded for livestock. You immediately became the kitchen maid to the new family. They liked you and decided it was okay for you to marry their fifth son. "This son was wild-eyed and wanted to experience your womanliness, but he didn't communicate with you as a friend. Once you were married, you were not allowed to see your old family anymore, but you sent us messages through a man who delivered cheese. He told us of your marriage and assured us that you were well taken care of. "In this life, I am your guide, so I can explain your current situation. The farm life is still affecting you today. You were a responsible worker who took pride in orderliness. But you were lonely for someone to be your friend, just as I was. You had one child. At age three, while out in the farmyard with your husband, a cow stepped on the child and he died. You and your husband were so devastated that you drifted apart and no longer had anything to do with each other. You had no friends, no family, only work. "This lifetime you desire to rectify this situation, which is etched on your soul. You are now free to chose friends. Family is absent or distant, but this does not matter. There are many lonely people in the world who need you and you need them. You can find friends. You are a lovable person -- kind and good. I knew you as a very good friend and I know you can help yourself to be more outgoing and to enjoy life more. Abenda says she will explain this process to you. I wish you well." Note from Abenda: "You are in a quandary as to how to meet others, and although it is natural upon the earth, in your case the problem relates to trust. You incarnated to release the effects of this farm life that caused you such loneliness. But as painful as the past life was, it contained gifts. You were learning to live in a civilized world. Previously, you were a male African living in the wilds. Wild beasts hunted you, as you them. "Today, you don't trust that others will come through for you, and your experience reinforces your belief. But it isn't up to others. You and you alone create your own life. You must open up emotionally with no guarantee that it will serve you. If you don't, nothing will change. If you want friends, there is some kind of a price to pay. First, you must go out of your way to meet others. Invite people to do things. It isn't necessary to spend much money. Go to gardens, museums, movies, coffeehouses. There are book clubs and metaphysical groups. Volunteer at a local hospital, charity or political organization. It may take time to make a friend or two or three. When you do, you'll have to put up with their frailties and eccentricities. Unconditional support and acceptance creates a strong friendship bond. You are living on the earth at this time to fulfill this challenge. In the end, the companionship you will experience will be well worth the effort."
Q. "I am 28 and have never been able to establish a life for myself. It's not that I don't try. I just don't have any luck with anything. I've suffered and struggled my whole life. I don't have a job or any money. I live with my mom and grandma. My mom has never worked and my grandma's only income is Social Security, which she uses to support the three of us for half the month. The other half we do without. The two jobs I've had, I lost through no fault of my own. "I don't have any friends, have never dated or had a boyfriend. Those I like don't like me, or they lead me on while already having a girlfriend. I feel like I have no control over my life. I've always been a good, kind and caring person, but it doesn't do me any good. Maybe I wasn't meant to be born. Did I do something bad in my past lives? Can Abenda tell what I can do to change it? Will I be alone and poor the rest of my life?" Christy D. Mueller A. A woman calling herself Natalana Bareouche appeared and wrote through my hand. "We were women friends in Albania, and you were so pretty everyone in the village loved you. You captured our hearts, sang to us, and you were so happy there. I'm sorry to see that you have chosen to be so unhappy in this life. I see that you died happily enough with a husband, children and relatives in our village who loved you. "The next lifetime, in the late 1700s, you were a beautiful and powerful French woman. Other women worked for you, sewing and making tapestries -- slave labor actually. When the Revolution broke down, you were stabbed in the heart by your head manservant. "You reincarnated to release the bad experiences and karma incurred in that lifetime. You are now in safe, secure circumstances but lack the glamour and ostentatious lifestyle. You are afraid to make money, because you feel your quest for money got you killed. You are also afraid of being a slave to someone else, because you don't want to go through what those under you were forced to experience in France. You have acted badly in the past. You feel you don't warrant love or friends. "You were stabbed in the heart by a man you loved. But he did not love you or even care for you in that lifetime. He even had mixed emotions about loyalty. You, however, are very loyal to your mother and grandmother. You care for them but you wish for a normal life. Soon, you will let go of some of the horribleness that went on before and as a result will open to others in a new way. You are talented. You can have friends. Do not be fearful of others' opinions. I will be near you and I love you." Note from Abenda: "You must not think that life will treat you badly. Life is what you make of it. Your loyalty has been proved successfully in your relatives' eyes. They wish only the best for you and even though they don't like change, they will welcome your change of mood and your optimistic dreams. You don't need to feel as though you cannot trust others. You have been testing your family all your life. They will not turn on you. On one level, you feel you might be killed by someone close to you, because you failed to recognize the violence in another when you were beautiful, rich and powerful. On another level, you think being rich and powerful was the problem, rather than looking to your own dictatorial actions. So you chose to reincarnate poor and without power, but that hasn't resolved the problem. You still feel like you can't trust anyone. You fear that you won't recognize the danger until it is too late. And here you are trapped in a dead-end situation as a result. "In knowing the reasons for your situation, you can go out and make yourself proud. You have many talents that can be shared with others. Start building your confidence. Don't have too many expectations of others. Give sincere friendship and you will begin to receive it in return. Other aspects of the good life will follow." Note from Tara: I think Abenda chose two cases of somewhat similar isolation to provide differing examples of cause and effect. Christine, I hope you will apply Abenda's advice to the first, unsigned writer.
Q. "I want to know what is blocking my path to true success, love, happiness and prosperity. I am 36, have had two unfortunate marriages to women who believed it was okay to trap me. Today, I've grown enough to find a soulmate whom I trust with my heart, but the past blocks keep me from fully committing. "When we became friends two years ago, she told me she was there to help me believe in myself and in God again. But I seem to be locked in fear. I feel tired, old, ineffective, and in need of healing so I can enjoy the beauty my friend speaks of. I can't give my soulmate what she deserves until I can heal myself, and I can't heal unless I can work though my blocks. Please help me! I'm getting desperate. I want to have faith again. Sign me anonymous if you print this." A. A dark-haired and dashing man appeared to me saying, "My name is Juan Mario Lucizon Martinez Rivera and I am here to talk to my friend. Together, we explored the world on the ships of Spain in the 1600s. John liked my imagination and I appreciated his wit. He wanted to settle down at home in Madrid someday, but never got the chance. We were attacked by pirates in the Indian Ocean in 1698. It was a terrible bloodbath, we were both wounded and our ship sank. We became fish food. That was always a joke between us, but it became a reality. When we died our fanciful whims died too. His being the family man. "He was reborn in 1708 to a farming family, far from water in Germany near the Switzerland border. He grew up loving the nearby mountains. A local farm girl became his wife and they had 12 children. He died happy and beloved in 1758. "In 1790, John was reborn to Austrian parents. Three years later he died with the rest of his family during a battle. In 1806 he was born in England, and as a soldier, killed many families. Although following orders, he recoiled at killing others and accepted a heavy guilt. After being released from the army, he tried to make amends in his own way. He never married and died at 42. "John was reborn in the late 1800s, and became a priest of the Catholic Church. He believed this might help absolve him of the pain he bestowed upon others in past lives. He died in the early 1900s. "In this lifetime, John has met a few of the women he has karma with from the past. He is loved by a wonderful woman now, but feels he hasn't paid enough for his past. But knowing the cause, he can begin to release his fears. He needs to accept that he deserves love. He also needs to roam through research and learning, instead of allowing his wanderlust to surface again. If he needs to roam, he and his lady can do this together. Finally, by helping others, he will learn to help himself." Note from Abenda: "John, you don't feel blocked, you feel trapped. Your perception of boundaries is an illusion, which you set into motion. Structure is not limitation. Change your viewpoints and alter your beliefs so they work for you rather than limit you. Be more conscious of others' feelings. No one is trapped in a relationship -- communication, sharing and camaraderie are a part of the human experience. How well you adapt is part of the lesson. Be conscious of your karma and remember to apply the Golden Rule."
Q. "I was in an abusive relationship for 11 years and have three children with my now ex-husband. A year after our divorce, I met the man I now live with. Upon meeting him, I felt like a memory was awakening of the two of us together in another lifetime. "But today, there is a lot of stress in the relationship. My ex-husband and my boyfriend are playing out a war of wills. And the same thing is going on between the kids and my boyfriend. I feel caught in the middle and we argue. Sometimes I question whether this man is the soulmate I thought I found. "I want to move to Sedona, Arizona to be closer to people of like mind. I'd like to know if my daughter Kristen is my mother who was murdered when I was eight years old. In the past, when I said the word "Teotihuacan," a flood of emotion and tears followed. Does any of this tie together or relate to my current situation?" Susan Jackson A. A woman named Analisa came to my writing room and was quite anxious to communicate the following information: "Susan, I am here to help take away the pain in your life. I know that you have been sad for a long time. Your mother was sad to leave you, but she came back as your son -- your middle child. "There are a few things you need to work out in your life to best help your children. You will be a good mother to them for many, many years. Help them care for themselves, physically, emotionally and psychically. Use logic and trust your intuition in regard to the problems you encounter. You always know what you need to do, but sometimes you have a hard time doing it. "Most important, you need to work to increase your self-esteem. Also, eat better, be happier and reduce the problems in your life. You attract people who don't treat you as an equal. You choose men who fulfill a security role. Some of this relates to a fear that your mother's absence didn't provide you with enough parenting, so you need to find it somewhere else. This isn't true, for you are a highly capable woman. You've given your children active voices in matters that often put their feelings before your own. You give everyone a voice -- everyone but yourself. You have a very caring, loving voice and it is time for you to use it. Your children are confused by the conflicting loyalties. Matters need to be resolved so they are not carried forward -- maybe for the rest of the children's lives. "Your ex-husband loves to fight. He and your boyfriend had a similar experience in Russia in 1781. You were a young peasant girl who sold bread out of your house with the other women of your clan. Your older male cousin (your ex-husband in this life), raised the fires for the bread. He was very protective and you flirted often with the promise to marry. But another young man told his father that he wanted you as his bride. The father asked your hand for his son, and you went to live with his family. They were cobblers and leather tanners. You were apprenticed and enjoyed the work. You married the son (your current boyfriend). Your cousin was heartbroken and managed to upset all the women of your family. "Now your boyfriend and ex-husband are in conflict again -- unfinished business from a past life. You must settle everyone down. You love them all. They can love anyone they want, but must treat others as they would like to be treated. This includes your boyfriend. All relationships are mirrors, and a reflection of what you give. Everyone may need counseling. Then your boyfriend and the kids must learn to communicate without your intervening. I am with you during these difficult times." Note from Abenda: "Everyone involved in this situation is feeling pain and trying to control others. Projecting blame and self-pity will not result in a happy home. Everyone must take responsibility for their own feelings. Mother can't 'fix' everyone, but you can remind the two men that they are the adults in the situation and they need to act like adults and consider the children. "You wished your mother could have rescued you from some pain, but you will live out her role by helping your loved ones. Your mother had karma which she has successfully resolved. "In response to your other questions: you had many lifetimes in Atlantis and you lived in Teotihuacan. You can move upcoming, although not necessarily Sedona. It would be a positive experience to surround yourselves with new adventures." __________________________ September 1998 Through automatic writing, Tara receives answers to questions about child abuse relating to current health, the karmic implications of a death, why a woman of 49 has never had a relationship, and the karmic cause of cancer. Laughing is natural medicine for the soul. I laugh a lot -- loud and sometimes too much, but my motto is to look at the bright side of any situation. The way we view our problems and the people around us, generates or releases our karma. Potential conflicts can so often be resolved with soothing words. But it is all too human to forget to give others what we need ourselves -- respect and unconditional acceptance. Our little everyday experiences are all karmic learning opportunities. And as we go through our days, we can view these experiences as precious gifts or troublesome burdens. Our lives change by the day. I try to hold each minute as a precious gift, but of course karma sometimes makes this difficult to do. Not all minutes seem precious. Some are tedious, challenging, and even tests of endurance. In the end, from an "enlightened" perspective, what is important is how we've handled each situation -- the precious minutes and the tough ones. I recently read in a Senior Center, "It's never too late to have a happy childhood." Agreed. We can even go back and change the past by viewing it differently in the present. Wisdom erases karma. Abenda reminds me that our minutes count. We make spiritual progress by taking a few minutes to express compassion, goodness and mercy, whenever such opportunities present themselves. You always get back what you give in life. And enlightenment is the key to the world in which we'll find ourselves upon graduating from this one. * * * * * For each column, my Spirit Guide Abenda chooses letters to answer, which she feels will relate to many readers. To receive the communications from spirit, I go into a theta-level trance, and Abenda finds someone on the other side that knows the letter writer or a loving entity who is aware of the problem. Under Abenda's carefully orchestrated conditions, this soul controls my hand and the response is received via automatic writing. I also perceive the soul visually while this is transpiring.
Q. "I'm in the middle of a personal crisis and am desperate for some insight. Can you and Abenda help me understand what is going on with a sweet little ten year old named Chelsey who died tragically on March 27, 1998? "I took my two daughters to the Oregon Coast for a short vacation over spring break. My daughter Allison invited her close friend Chelsey to come along. "The third morning we were there, Allison and Chelsey were playing on the beach near a log. It was high tide. I was watching from a nearby rock. All of a sudden, a huge wave came in and rolled the log on top of Chelsey, killing her instantly. Allison ran to call 911 while I held her in my arms, horrified. "Two nights before, I had a very disturbing dream that Chelsey's mother had called me crying, saying she wanted to come and get her daughter. I wish I had listened to this sign and taken Chelsey home early. "I am in a state of grief, shock, guilt, shame, and depression. Chelsey's mother and I have become very close, and are grieving together. I know I will always live with the pain. "I've started a public awareness campaign about beach safety, which has really taken off. I'm hoping to change educational policy in the school system. I've vowed to Chelsey that her death will not be in vain, that something good will come of this. But it's just an outlet to deal with my shame and guilt. Moving on with my life seems unbearable. I hope so much that I hear back from you. I want Chelsey to know how much I love her." Cindy N. A. A woman calling herself Phylicia Berdingian came to me and explained that she knew you, Cindy, in an incarnation in Turkey. She wanted me to know she was not a native but lived in that country. She had dark, shoulder-length hair, dark eyes and appeared to me in a bright-colored, guaze dress. Here is what she wrote through my hand: "Dear Cindy, Chelsey is all right and with me. I'm sorry that you are grieving so terribly. You must realize that Chelsey needed to come back to us on this side of the veil. She will now reincarnate to be of service -- a 'Florence Nightingale' of sorts, contributing her time and energy to the cause of suffering children in hospitals and administration. "So you mustn't feel that it is your fault that Chelsey found the easier and most painless way to leave this lifetime. She knew when she was born that she would terminate very early in this life. She wanted to experience a happy childhood, so she planned it perfectly, to progress to a higher level of schooling. "As a young Jewish girl in World War II, she was killed in a raid. She was devastated by being forced to watch as soldiers butchered her family before killing her. The childhood she experienced in this life, helped to strengthen her soul and prepare her for the tests she'll encounter in the next life. Your daughter was her daughter in another incarnation. And Chelsey wanted to be with her energy and light once again. "You are wondering why you needed to have the experience -- such a hard cross to bear. You both needed each other to resolve karma. As a soldier, you were ordered to put many people to death and you followed those orders. You were responsible. This time you are not responsible for her death, but you feel responsible. Now, karmically, you must forgive yourself. Your goodness is sincere. Others know this and feel badly for you. Chelsey wants you to forgive her for using your karma to fulfill her destiny. She actually feels you should be angry with her, because now you must face each day with your heavy heart. Please know that it will be easier in time. Know that Chelsey loves you and is still your friend." Note from Abenda: "You need to release your burden of guilt and misunderstanding. Through your Beach Safety work you will serve and save others. Also, communicate with other children. Don't be afraid to tell them of your faults and pain. They will understand and it will teach them to value their lives. In loving oneness, Abenda."
Q. "I am very confused about my dear brother who has been having major health problems for the past few years. He's had prostrate cancer, by-pass heart surgery, tonsil cancer, aneurysm surgery and now a return of the prostate cancer. Any of these is in itself a major illness. "My two brothers and I were adopted by a step-father before we were of school age. He was strict and rigid with all of us, but for 14 years was downright cruel in his discipline of this youngest brother. This brother is very intelligent and humorous, but his gifts were never nurtured. "Can you use your gifts to tell me why this darling child was tortured and hated by this man. We've always been so close, and I'm afraid I'll lose him to illness before his time." Mary Angella A. A woman saying she was "Aunt Bethina, a widow from the wars of Italy," appeared to me. She was older, with a slim build and streaked gray and black hair pulled up off her face. Her kind eyes especially touched me. She shared the following message: "I am willing to let you know your brother's fears and gifts of this lifetime. He started out as a favorite and adored child, because his light was bright and noticeable. As he got older, your stepfather appeared -- a man with whom he had negative karma. Your brother was a manager of slaves in Ancient Mesopotamia. Many slaves were owned all their working lives, and it was common practice to beat them regularly. The squalid conditions and the bent bodies were horrific. That is why your stepfather became a chiropractor -- to strengthen broken bodies. Your brother did not like having to abuse slaves, but it was his job to keep peace and keep the work on schedule. Your stepfather lost a beloved brother to the slave yard and vowed revenge. "They have battled in many lifetimes. Considering that neither killed each other in this life, you might say they did rather well. There is some progress. As women in an Arabian harem, they were separated by the other women -- not to speak or even look at another. Your brother is still reeling from these lifetimes. He has subdued his natural curiosity and adventurousness, and is now coming into what I call the 'whisper zone.' He is no longer hearing the subtle tune of life and its energy forces. He is becoming weary of the world and the impact of his karma. He is no longer screaming inside to be heard. He is just quiet, waiting for the end. "In Italy he was quite powerful in my lifetime. He was a leader of our village and he was fair and just. You were also his sister in that incarnation and you helped him to achieve. All the family pitched in. Then his wife ran off with another villager, and your brother went into the woods and hung himself from a tree. In incarnations that followed, he lived in five remote slave-ridden areas of the world in an attempt to exorcise past deeds and his expectations of others. "Deep within his being, he believes that you must suffer greatly to achieve the right to enter heaven -- that if he can slow down his earthly life and act properly and repair his heart, maybe God will feel he is worthy of entering heaven. He gains in light and wisdom. You must not fear for him. He wants all of your conversations and the love between you to count. Give him a generous amount of camaraderie and happy companionship. Reach out and try to soothe him in his darkest moments. You will always be one of his truest friends, and this bond will carry over into the next phase of existence. I wish you peace as he wishes it." Note from Abenda: "This is an example of soul lineage generating fear. You are born into a family to work through the turbulence and to learn to express love and compassion. Your brother has been there to rescue you and you in turn have rescued him. Yours is a mutual friendship. Know that your loyalty, love and support has meant a great deal to him in this life and past lives. No matter how much time you have to share on the manifest plane, your love will endure. This is the greatest blessing. Accept this gift in life. In loving oneness, Abenda."
Q. "I am a 47-year-old man who has been fighting bone cancer for the last two years. As a teacher and coach, I've always been strong and led a so-called 'clean life.' No overindulgence with food or alcohol. I'm wondering, Tara, 'why me?' The cancer originated in the prostrate and that is an older man's disease. My 41-year-old brother also is afflicted with prostrate cancer. "I have opted to do surgery and radiation but no chemotherapy. I've worked with alternative methods of diet and supplements, including two visits to a famous Mexican clinic for treatments and pain relief. I've done well for several months, but am now seriously back-sliding. I feel I won't live much longer. "I have a young wife who is very supportive, but there's an undercurrent that I could do more to help myself. What more can I do? Please tell me." Tim Gillespie A. A gentleman claiming to have been your father in a Brazilian tribe in 893 AD came to me. He wrote his name as Benite kata meli, and he appeared as a native with a bright, intelligent face, and straight black hair. He expressed much concern over your condition. He evidently works to comfort you from the other side. This is what he wrote: "You were a vibrant young man and you're still a vibrant man -- filled with good will for others. You must not feel that you have become a burden to anyone else. It is the choice of others to help you or not. You have been through a lot and you continue to fight. You used your body wisely in this life. And the days you enjoyed a strong body were a gift. In your last life you were crippled when you fell from a horse. But there is only so much you can do for a 'life body.' You were exposed to radiation as children -- radon, which damaged your immune system and set the cancer into being. "This is karmic retribution relating back to an English lifetime in 1529. You were an overly zealous tax collector who set fire to the barns of people who could not pay their taxes. This caused terrible suffering. Because you ruined other's chances at living, today you are balancing your karma and learning the hard way about the value of life sustenance. "Your wife is very scared. She sees your decline and she hasn't accepted that you could leave her life. All of us die. Some sooner than others. We all need to realize that any day could be our last. And it's always good to be prepared for both life and death, which is part of the natural process. It does not hurt. Quite the opposite. In a moment, your very existence becomes beautiful and bright and you realize that life continues in a new form. So please do not fear, whether you die tomorrow, or next month, or years from now." Note from Abenda: "Appreciate the time you have, Tim. I know it is extremely difficult for you, but it is time to live as you please. Accept love and comfort from your family and friends. You are not a burden. You have given them the chance to love you and for you to love them. In loving oneness, Abenda."
Q. "I am 49 years old and have never had a serious relationship, because I'm always attracted to the wrong kind and it never goes anywhere. I've never fit in or had any friends, and have never seemed to perform well at anything. But in the last three years I have gained some self-esteem. I try to keep a positive outlook but it isn't easy. I have not worked in many years either. I hope that my next life will have less struggle and frustration. Can you provide me with any answers?" Marianne Carlen A. A Marnettich Unriechter appeared to tell you this: "In your past life, you were born male in a family of 14 children who lived in the hills in the South of Confederate America. Your mother paid no attention to you and you grew untrusting of women. Your family had nothing and you were ostracized by other people in the area. So you never had any friends. You incarnated into that life because in a previous incarnation you were a desert nomad in the Middle East and you longed to know a family. "As a result of living the dirt poor life without love, this time around you wanted to make sure you didn't have a slew of kids. Now you must work on your service skills. You have not been in a true career for many lifetimes. You were once a merchant owner in Morocco, but you lost your wealth to thieves. You were also once my child -- my little girl -- in Switzerland. We had a beautiful life in the mountains until you were taken away at nine years old by marauders. I am here to hear your pleas for love. Loneliness is a hard part of earthly incarnation. I was lonely for you, so I know how painful it is. I realize you have been working out much karma, which started because you were a soldier in several lifetimes and you killed many people. "Please realize that you are one of many, many others who are lonely and feel like they don't fit in. You are not alone. You can have what you want in this lifetime, if you are willing to wrestle your conscious mind and tell yourself, 'I deserve a good and happy life.' You, not someone else, need to make up the rules for 'good and happy.' Remember too, I love you very much." Note from Abenda: "The night is long for many -- the day is long for many. Decide to live your minutes, hours and days. You must take necessary steps to include yourself with others. Nurture your uniqueness, you have gifts to share. In loving oneness, Abenda." * * * * * See Tara's "Automatic Writing" audio meditation tape at our companion Valley of the Sun Publishing site if you're interested in learning to do this on your own. Tara cannot answer letters online, due to the volume of mail and her heavy seminar and writing schedules. Also: Tara and Abenda use psychometric telepathy as a touchstone to make a psychic connection with the person asking the question. They need a letter in hand. Even if a letter is typed or printed out on a computer, the person's signature is a connection. A stronger connection can be made with a photograph, but photos cannot be returned. Tara answers as many letters as possible in her Soaring Spirit magazine column. Send your letters to: Tara Sutphen, Cause & Effect, Box 38, Malibu, CA 90265.
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