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2000 "Cause & Effect" ____________________________ July 2000 Through automatic writing, Tara receives answers to questions about two friends losing their full-term babies prior to birth, a woman who lost her sons to AIDS and drugs, a 12-year old who wants to die, a family fighting over an inheritance, and more. We may accept reincarnation, but having no conscious memory of prior existence, we can’t help but wonder why we choose our current lives, just the way they are. The contradictions -- good/bad, happy/sad, chaos/peace, love/hate -- generate heights of happiness and depths of despair. As a result, I receive a lot of mail that can be summarized in two sentences: “My life’s a mess. What am I here on earth to learn?” A recent writer said, “I think it would be easier to deny all emotion and attachment.” Of course it would be easier, but that isn’t what life is about. To incarnate upon the earth and deny your emotions and avoid meaningful contact would be to waste an incarnation. Instead of trying to avoid, we need to try to understand from a karmic perspective. In the last year, two friends lost full term babies prior to birth. Was it their karma to experience the loss? I decided to ask Abenda to help me understand: “There are always reasons why a soul decides to turn back. A soul is not attached to the body of a baby until it is born. The reasons for avoiding birth are as varied as the souls who journey back to earth. Maybe a soul has decided to pay off considerable debt in the forthcoming life. In going over their karmic plan prior to birth, they panic and back out of the commitment while they still can. The reason for termination is often rooted in fear -- fear of loving too much, fear of not being loved enough, fear of suffering physical or emotional pain. In some cases, the incoming soul is helping the parents to fulfill their karma. As an example, a couple that was unloving or irresponsible in a past life, might need to learn to value a child before being entrusted with a new life in this incarnation. Just when they are anticipating the joys of parenthood, it is denied, causing them the kind of pain they once inflicted, or causing them to yearn even more for a child -- to value human life.” * * * * * For each column, my spirit guide Abenda chooses letters to answer, which she feels will relate to many readers. To receive the communications from spirit, I go into a theta-level trance, and Abenda finds someone on the other side that knows the letter writer or a loving entity who is aware of the problem. Under Abenda’s carefully orchestrated conditions, this soul controls my hand and the response is received via automatic writing. I also perceive the soul visually while this is transpiring. Q. “In 1991, my son Blaine died of AIDS. He was 37. In 1999, I lost my son Robert to drugs. He was 41. In his failure to overcome his addiction, he committed suicide. Both were warm, loving men. Robert has a twin brother named Thomas, who is currently suffering greatly from the loss. He threatens to join his brother. We are broken hearted and very worried. Can you help me to understand? C. Kristich A. Dear Catherine, I am Kataline, your dear friend from a past life we shared in Budapest. I was a caretaker to the priests of the period 1202 AD. They were loyal and brave and were among many such holy men to be sacrificed along with the slaves and politicians at the time of unrest. I, too, was slain for my loyalty. Robert swore to avenge the deaths, even when the other priests begged him to forgive. In 1305, in his next incarnation, he participated in a Germanic raid against quiet townspeople, subconsciously driven to avenge the deaths of his priestdom from the former life. Many of the townspeople were indeed the killers and persecutors in the past life. But Robert felt sick after the slaughter. Haunted with guilt, he ended up taking his own life in that incarnation. He has carried the guilt through the lifetimes that followed. As you know, he was very kind -- always ready to lend an ear or console an acquaintance. But the guilt pressed on. He tried to hide from the guilt in the drugs. But that only caused him to further hurt himself and hurt others, eventually driving him to cross over again. Robert chose you as a mother because you were one of the priests in Budapest who asked him to forgive. The two of you share a long lineage of lives. You came together again in this life for he knew that you would forgive him and always cherish the real soul you know him to be. He waits always for your rejection, but it will never come. Blaine immediately helped Robert upon his crossing. Your sons are still brothers in spirit. Until recently, Robert has been resting, which you would perceive as sleeping. He is currently awake and aware, although he’ll soon undertake another rejuvenation period. Once he is fully awakened over here, he will work on letting go of his guilt. He has decided that for every life he took, he should die ten deaths. We are all our own judges, but we will help him to understand that this need not be so. Robert wants you to know that he is so sorry he acted selfishly. He wishes that his human spirit had been more hearty and vibrant. He asks again for your forgiveness and he wishes you good health and love. Blaine’s death allowed him to balance his karma from a previous incarnation. In being free of a major karmic debt, he will be able to accomplish so much more in his next incarnation. He wants to thank you for your love and support and he says he misses and loves you. He will also be checking on Robert during his recuperation. You, Catherine, expressed great love for your sons by accepting the mother role that helped them to fulfill the destiny they came to earth to play out. Thomas needs to be strong and help heal your broken heart. I hope that he stands up to the challenge. It is one of his tests. He incarnated believing that he could endure. He is brave. I wish you well. Be at peace. Do your best. I will watch over you from time to time. Best, always, Kataline Abenda writes: Dear Catherine, I am sending you comfort during this difficult time. Karma is two fold. Remember that. No matter what has happened, love is always the answer. Continue to love. It is your legacy -- a gift, no matter how painful. I wish you understanding. In oneness, love, ABENDA. Q. The first contact from Bari came as an e-mail: Dear Tara, I ask for a favor. Please help me. My name is Bari and I am 12 years old. About the past year or two, I have been opening myself and experiencing a lot. I have read some of your Q&A columns and it is what helps me get through the day. I have also been going to Kabbalah, which helps me to look at things in a different way. Experiencing the other dimensions, everything looks so fake, like it was painted. I’ve felt like I’ve been living in the movie “The Truman Show” or “The Matrix.” This is where I need your help. I don’t want to be here on earth. I want to go back home. I’ve asked for someone to take over me -- to be a walk-in. I have also had thoughts about killing myself. My mom taught me that it is wrong. If I kill myself I will be in hell, crying and wishing to come back. My mom says she went through the same thing when she was my age, but she had it worse because she was hard of hearing. She wanted to die until she started to read some of Dick’s writings. I see what she is trying to say, but I am so miserable. I feel like falling asleep and never waking up. I don’t have many friends and just don’t want to be here. Can you PLEASE help me? Can you ask your guide (angel) what I am here for and anything else I should know. Sincerely, Bari A. My initial e-mail response: Dear Bari, I know that life is confusing, and you sound like such a thinker. You’ve been given a good mind, and for this reason you need to live life and use it to help others. Don’t be afraid to live. Considering our entire existence, I’m sure our earth lives are like a snap of the fingers -- such a short little span of time. What is popular? It is feeling secure with yourself and not caring what others think. Friends will come and go and their destiny is different than yours. You need to be busy. Do what you enjoy. Do you have hobbies? Maybe you want to help older people, or sick babies, or hospice patients. That would give you purpose, and maybe deeper understanding. Abenda says our greatest purpose on earth is to learn compassion. I feel that you are a gifted girl who will soar as you seek answers to life’s hard questions. If you send me a signed letter via regular mail, I’ll use it as a psychic touchstone and ask Abenda to tell you more. I wish you love and peace, Tara Sutphen. Bari’s letter included a photo of herself (a beautiful 12-year-old). She explained that she had been talking with her mother about her feelings, and her mom had given her a copy of Dick’s Heart-Chakra Meditation. When I heard it for the first time, I opened myself and began to see more. I now can hear and see spirits. The second time I listened to it, I met my grandfather Jack and he told me that I will learn how to use my psychic power to help others. My outlook changed and I feel so great after listening. It makes me want to stay, help the misfortunate, and therefore I listen everyday. From the tape I also contacted my guide Samantha and my brother Mark. With my mother, we have contacted her guide Harold and Kal (I don’t know who he is yet). Later on about the next day I noticed a lot of souls in my house. Someone told me that there were approximately 200. My mother has read all Dick’s books and even bought the tape although she couldn’t use it because she is hard of hearing. She couldn’t figure why she bought it. Now she thinks that maybe it was for me. The automatic writing responses arranged by Abenda: Message 1: (This message begins with four symbols I assume to be Japanese.) Dear Bari, I wish you not to die as you are a relatively solid girl who will someday make a difference. You have so many gifts that you do not begin to understand them. You were once a doctor in Japan and you saved me. I was a wrestler and overweight in such a slim culture. I genuinely had a bad body system and needed medical help. I died of cancer at a young age. Now you have gone back to earth and it is exciting to talk to you and let you know that you were so very helpful and comforting to me as I died a painful death. I will let a woman talk to you as she waits patiently. You are not to be sad. You are wonderful. Good fortune. Good health. Long life, Shinou Makasaki. Message 2: Dear Bari, You have a wonderful life upcoming and your mother loves you so much and needs you. You were very interested in alchemy in many of your past lives. You are at times very bored with life and its slow process of emotions and confusion. But you are going to realize that it takes time to perfect the abilities you will use later on. You are chosen to help many; at times your path will frustrate you. Especially as a younger person, but this is a time of learning and loving. Especially your mother. You will not need the peer support of your fellow schoolmates. You do not need to rely on sympathy and the weakness of others. That is why you do not find many who satisfy your friendship needs. Others will come. You learn to rely on yourself. You learn. Study other cultures, religions, alchemy, and the occult. As you enjoy the knowledge, you will begin to enjoy your life. I will help you when you need me. Remember to be kind and charitable. It comes back to you. Love, Ambrosairantha Abenda adds: Dear Bari, You will do well in life. You will not have to follow the backwards flow of people on negative karmic paths. Be courageous and love to your fullest capacity. Know that I wish you a beautiful life. Your mother has also been an alchemist in a lifetime you shared. But in this incarnation, she doesn’t feel deserving. Love her and let her know she is deserving. Let her know you care and will not leave her. In love and oneness, ABENDA Q. Please ask Abenda about my brother Richard who is angry and vengeful toward my son-in-law, Lee. Richard married my girlfriend Rae. Rae’s son Lee (from a previous marriage) married my daughter Jana. Rae died and Richard and Lee are behaving terribly towards each other because of Rae’s will. My sister Myrna is urging Richard on, keeping him churning. Is there anything that anyone can do to help heal the rift in the family? Hope Wisnia A. Dear Hope, I am Asterniana from Crete -- 11 AD. You and I were sisters. You were a wonderful friend to me. Our father was not well and neither of us was allowed to marry. We cooked for our brothers and took care of our father. Our mother died very early in our lives. Rae is doing much better now. She can’t go anywhere near all the hatred that resulted from her passing. She doesn’t understand how two people that she loved so much could be fighting over her things. It is best, she says, for each to be fair and kind. No one is going to lack shelter, food or clothing. Richard is not to be afraid and Lee is to stop being greedy and frustrated. 414 AD -- Central Asia: Richard and Lee are desert nomads. They team up, but Lee takes water from Richard at a crucial time and Richard almost dies. Their trust is broken and they part ways. 521 AD -- Maya in Central America: Richard is a young girl -- a virgin to be sacrificed to the gods. Lee is a priest. Richard is angry about having to die this way. This time it is no accident. 822 AD -- Germany: Richard and Lee are soldiers who fight together. Lee is ambushed and Richard escapes. 1214 AD -- England: Richard is a soldier and Lee is a druid. Richard tells his men to slaughter Lee and his people. 1449 AD -- France: Richard is Lee’s father. They are cordial until Lee hits his father during an argument. They no longer speak and Richard takes him out of his will, depriving him of considerable land. Today, they are fighting again over an inheritance. They are two people who have never gotten along. But they could if they would set their egos aside. Richard is not as hard hearted as Lee can be. This is something Lee must work on in this lifetime. Abenda adds: Dear Hope, You must continue to work your kindness in all directions. You are a peacemaker and your goodness will be seen and heard. Your trials at this time will soon pass. Move in positive directions to accomplish steady ways to maintain health and balance. Love, and in oneness, ABENDA Q. Dear Tara, this is for your “Cause & Effect ministry (I call it that because your words heal and uplift). I know I’m here on this earth in service. I sometimes wonder if I’m doing all I can or if I’m on the right path. I’ve achieved much career success and financial rewards, yet I’m dogged by financial burdens.Why? My boss has always supported me, yet also pressured me for sex. I’ve never agreed, not only for moral reasons, but it also feels incestuous. I am V.P. of the company, his daughter is President. I get the distinct feeling she’s always been jealous and can’t stand me. But she puts up with me because I get the job done. What’s this about? I’m married to a wonderful man whom I love deeply and I know loves me, but there are blocks on several issues with him. Part of it is resentment over finances and pressure for sex. I also dislike the abandonment I felt from him from him going back to the time of our first child’s birth. He has, however, been a great father and I know he loves me, but sometimes we’re like oil and water. What’s this about? We’ve been blessed with two incredible sons. I feel very fortunate to be a mother and specifically theirs. I really did something right to be so blessed. We are uniquely connected. I’d like to quit work and come home to take care of them and do what I love best -- write. But for now we need my paycheck. There’s that money again. Hawaii or California are also calling. Anything you can tell me would be appreciated. I realize I don’t have any great problems, but I sure wish I could better understand my lot in life. L, Chicago, IL A. Dear L, I’m sorry that life seems so difficult at times, but you have so much to be thankful for. Your husband and sons love you very much. Your boss loves you. It isn’t wrong to love others, but it does create karma. You can easily block the physical advances in a positive way. The others surrounding you are looking for understanding in their lives, which is something you easily bestow. As for the bond with your husband, you have been together many times: 1218 AD: You were nurses together in Asia during a period of fighting rival warlords. Working as a team, you were both dedicated to making everyone as comfortable as possible with the medicines and practices of that time. But you both died of a fever in your early thirties. Before dying, you promised to love each other always. 1301 AD -- Romania: You were together this time as husband and wife. Betrothed from neighboring farms, you had a large family and worked hard. This was a pleasant life. 1371 AD -- Tahiti: You come back together to enjoy a peaceful island life, but as the woman, you were kidnapped by another tribe. Your husband mourned you for the rest of his days. 1492 AD -- France: You were a Christian in the southeastern region. You dedicated your life to helping others through charity work. You married the man who was your greatest benefactor -- your husband in your current life. This was a positive, happy life. 1589 AD -- Belgium: He was institutionalized and you were a nurse who helped him make the transition into death. You wished him well. You took a break from your husband and he went through additional lifetimes of torment to overcome his natural inclination to mistrust. Karmic destiny didn’t bring you back together again until 1921 in London, England. You met and fell in love, but soon died together in a transportation accident. Now again you come together. There is much love between the two of you. He fears he may not truly live and goes overboard with the “feel goods” of life: food, money, sex, etc. You both have a subconscious fear that risks that could result in your demise. Any risks you take together should be decided upon together. As for your boss’ daughter, she is insecure about her own abilities, which doesn’t generate camaraderie. Go on as you have before. The karma between you is in good vibration. There is much karma between her and her father. In a Chinese life she was his third wife. In another incarnation she was his concubine. As a result, she feels it is her right to take a stand and get her share of his life and work. You will continue to live with good fortune. I knew you in a nursing life in Jerusalem in 40 AD. We used to tend the local infirmary. My name is Maladania. I will see you again. Abenda adds: Dear L, You will do well in your life. Your husband and sons will continue to bless you. And it is time to let go of the past resentments you speak about. You will gain wisdom from the path you have chosen. In love and oneness, ABENDA * * * * * You can leave an e-mail at the Website Visitor Center asking to put on the “Abenda Alert” mailing list. You’ll be notified of new columns and if something of importance comes up. We will never release your e-mail address to any other organization. If you’re interested in learning to communicate with your spirit guide on your own, see Tara’s “Automatic Writing” audio meditation tape/CD. Tara cannot answer letters personally, but will respond to as many as possible in this column. Questions must be sent in a signed letter via US mail to Box 38, Malibu, CA 90265. She uses the letter and signature as a psychic touchstone.
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