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"Cause & Effect" ____________________________ February 2003 |
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Through automatic writing, Tara continues communications with deceased New Age author Jess Stearn. She also receives answers to questions about leaving a loving husband, failure in “earthly” matters, and a young man’s career in the military. The first installment of my after-life automatic writing with Jess Stearn ran in issue 79 of Soaring Spirit (April 2002). Issue 80 was posted on the dicksutphen.com Website as a Web magazine. The third installment, following Jess through the death process, is presented here. It was received January 9, 2003. Dearest Tara, Time is marching on, I see. It seems like ages and then it seems like little time has passed since I left the earth on March 27, 2002. I am still exploring my surroundings on this plane of existence. I studied it for so many years when I was alive, I can’t stop now that I have the chance to see for myself what it is like here and how it affects humans. I was so obsessed with knowing on Earth, my curiosity was never quenched. I must say, gaining knowledge doesn’t seem to be the priority in this place. It’s more about being of service to others. All the jobs are related to helping positions. No one is about the self, only about “the other.” Interesting to watch as earth is all about “the self.” Abenda still lets me come and go as I please. Bags (Jess’ spirit guide) accompanies me on my adventures and research. He is extremely unhelpful at times. He takes me where I need to go, although he will not share much knowledge. It’s up to me to glean what I can from the places we go and the sources we meet. I was finally able to ask more questions about Torpor (the after-death process explained in the last issue). I had to go to a closed mausoleum temple -- very big and beautiful. Once inside, I used my old Taurus tenacity to walk the dark halls until I came upon a room offering low light. I went in, sat in the middle of the room and asked my question over and over. Finally a very wise soul named Isaac came to speak to me. He told me that humans carry Earthly residue back into the unconscious world. The sleep-like Torpor process allows you to reawaken as the true spiritual being you are. Earth is only a journey, however wonderful or disdainful. I asked why we get so stuck on the fact Earth is our home. Isaac mentioned the concept of love and explained how we connect to people, places, or things. It seems to be an ingredient we pour into the Earth body. We also pour in guilt, hate, greed, pain and envy. Add to that, empathy, compassion, good will, and stability. We are influenced by so many factors, but we seem to prevail unless otherwise inflicted in ways that tie us to the earth cycle. I am indeed still tied to earth living, but I’m starting to feel easy and secure here. Do I have to go back to Earth? No. Do I want to go back? Maybe, but I don’t need to. Eating, sleeping and making love are distant fond memories. But my insatiable mental curiosity is still intact. My incessant need “to know” is virtually ignored here. I’m afraid I’m regarded as not moving on smoothly. But as you and Abenda experiment with higher knowledge, I am searching as well. I want to be led to the door of higher knowledge. I want to walk through and have the answers handed to me in a nice compact manual called The Book of After Life. Maybe because boundaries are not defined over here, you must concentrate harder and stay focused upon the questions and answers at hand. To recap my initial death experience: 1. The cross over. You find yourself easily going where you are supposed to be, if you listen to your helper/guide. 2. You feel very strange. Your guide is there to help you overcome those weird sensations. 3. It is easy to experience a sense of panic, but when this happens your guide holds your hand. 4. After your guide calms you down, you are on the way back to your old life. Remember, this was your life before you were born to Earth. 5. You start to fully understand how Earth is a learning station -- an experiment of physical senses, plus conscious and unconscious mind. 6. The Earth experience increases your energy to generate more positive energy in the universe. Negative energy tends to generate eruption and chaos. You are an energy source. No matter where you live -- in any corner of the Universe or beyond, you are a “spirit.” This is who you really are. Right now your spirit lives on earth, but you’ll be free to experiment anywhere in the future. But for now you are locked into an earth cycle. This cycle can literally take thousands of years and this is why you can feel so strongly about particular people, places, things, and emotions of love and hate. It also explains why you may not be ready for change. God forbid that I might want to leave the confines of the Earth-life cycle. But I do have that choice at this time. I’m not sure if I will take it. I have 180 years to decide. That’s giving myself some elbow room. I know many of you wonder about religion. There are many great spirits, but no true religion per se. There are compassionate laws of the Highest Order, because even the most wicked spirits experience some boundaries until they evolve beyond disrupting the harmony of the Higher Universe. I think this is the place regarded as heaven. I have asked if we lose our individual spirit there. Maybe this is why the Earth cycle is appealing? Because it always allows us to be an individual. I’ll explain much more when you next ask me to write. I miss you and love you, Jess * * * * * From Tara: For each issue of Soaring Spirit, I include some “Cause and Effect” letters from readers. To receive the communications, I go into a theta-level trance, and my spirit guide Abenda finds someone on the other side that knows the letter writer or a loving entity who is aware of the problem. Under Abenda’s carefully orchestrated conditions, this soul controls my hand and the response is received via automatic writing. I also perceive the soul visually while this is transpiring.
Q. “My name is Joseph Lee Malloch. I am a junior in high school, and I feel that it is time to make plans about my future. I am a third year member of the NJROTC program at my school. I have achieved the rank of Cadet Lieutenant. After attending college, I feel the military could be my future. After serving in the military, I feel I could be of service in the political arena. Are these goals that I incarnated to fulfill?” Joseph Lee Malloch A. A man in a green uniform came to speak. He said he was Italian and served in the army during the wars of the 1790’s. You were a comrade and his brother. His name was Carlo Manducci. Here is what he wrote through my hand: “Dear Joseph, I wish that I had come to be with you. The world has changed, the equipment is very special and I like what you are learning. We defended ourselves against Napoleonbut he wasn’t much of a threat to us actually. You and I were killed in a brawl with country people from Austria. We had met two sisters and attempted to go beyond our respectful manners and were caught by seven brothers who kicked us and bashed our skulls until we died. We were then buried in the woods. Our families never knew what happened to us. “This time, you are determined to be more. You came back with strong beliefs and strong convictions. At times, life will be very hard. You will go into politics someday, but you will be changed and it will be a time of reevaluation. Be careful not to want this too much. Remember to find love along the way. The comfort of a wonderful woman who gives you joy and children will fulfill your life more than you now know. You will make better decisions for people when you feel human. Being vulnerable at times is a sign of compassion, never of weakness.” I wish you great success, Note from Abenda: “You are following your natural path, always do what you enjoy. Whenever anything becomes a burden, know that you have the right to change your mind.” In love and oneness,
Q. “I am a healthy 45-year old male who wonders why I seem to be an utter failure in “earthly” matters. I am intelligent, yet I always seem to stay at entry-level, dead-end jobs. “I believe I am loving and sensitive, yet I never have had a meaningful relationship with a woman. I remain single. I also think I am clever, yet have lost tens of thousands of dollars in every major investment I’ve been involved with. “I am aware of the spiritual reality and think the purpose of this life is to transcend the ego and become liberated from attachments, yet somehow feel one cannot truly be spiritual while failing miserably in one’s earthly affairs. Could Abenda please tell me why I seem to be working against myself?” Mathew Miller A. Dear Mathew, A woman with ivory flowing robes came in to write. She had a brown/ivory cut shell around her neck and long brown hair. She said her name was Ermalina. This is what she wrote: “You continue to be a loving and a dedicated soul to peace. When you were young I would speak to you in your dreams and tell you to enjoy your life. Do not be caught up with worries or money chasing. I have always wanted to save you. And I am sorry to see you unhappy with the success of your life. “Two past lives relate to your current situation: You were a wealthy merchant who invented a cough syrup that was stocked in every drug store in America, Europe and Asia in the mid 1850’s. You would also take this medication yourself. “You lived a lavish life, but you became lifeless and sour. You shunned your wife, children, relatives and friends. You were miserable. You had as much money as you wanted, but you were miserable. You died alone and very disillusioned in a drugged stupor. “You reincarnated and experienced a poor lifetime, thinking you could somehow right your path. Your parents were uncaring, your siblings all left home early. No one helped each other. But you became an early alcoholic and found yourself on the streets of New York City. You cleaned up your life to a large degree and started helping others out of their misery. You became a guidance counselor through charitable organizations. You died much happier in that lifetime, but still unfulfilled in many areas. “In this life, you are trying to feel your way. Subconsciously, you feel if you become too successful, you will be miserable and alone. If you find love, you fear your life might unravel as well. You want to keep your life and feelings intact. “Open your energy. Allow yourself to live and be happy. Do not monitor your every move. Breathe, live and love. Love, Ermalina
A note from Abenda: “Allow yourself to be cautious, yet start gravitating toward a more openly conscious mind. Do not think narrowly. Give yourself room to grow. Don’t be afraid of change. Trust that everything has a reason and open to this Higher Understanding. In love and oneness,
Q. “I’ve been married for eleven years and have loved my husband very much. I have felt loved and accepted by him. Nonetheless, our problems have an early root in an unplanned and terminated pregnancy. The termination caused me a lot of pain. I felt like a murderer and still experience guilt. Last autumn, I became pregnant again. We both thought it would be okay as I am now 33 years old and childless. “Unfortunately, I lost control with fear and a feeling of doom. I didn’t want to have a child after all. I was terrified of losing my freedom/identity/special place. I was extremely relieved to miscarry ten days later. And our feelings for each other have changed enormously since this miscarriage. We are no longer friends. I am obsessed with ending the marriage despite years of togetherness and what would be a huge insult to the structure of our lives and those of our parents and family. I keep fantasizing about living alone, or with another man. I can barely tolerate weekends with my husband. I just want to run away. I am making everyone miserable and terrified. I want to be alone all the time and to be free to do things for myself. He wants to know why I have changed the rules ... from extreme togetherness to living like roommates. He considers us soulmates. “My question: Must I leave this precious and deserving person so that he can fulfill his desire for children or can I turn my feelings back to loving him and continue to live with him despite all that has occurred? Is it possible I am in love with someone else. I have met a young man. I am so drawn to him but terrified to hurt anyone involved in this mess. “So far I haven’t told my husband how I feel about him nor about my feelings for the other man, because to do so would probably end the marriage. He has idealized the marriage too much to be able to tolerate discussion about outside attraction/loves. “I am so confused I can barely take a step forward. Other areas of my life have improved dramatically since this upheaval. I quit smoking, lost weight, do yoga three times a week. I look great and feel great about myself on the surface but inside I am tortured. Why can’t I open my heart to my husband. It’s killing us both. He is so hurt he can hardly work. I love him but like a sibling. I can’t have sex with him anymore, I just fantasize about other people. Please help me.” Alice McBride A. A woman came to speak. She bowed in the Japanese style and said her name is Sabuki. She was wearing a white and lavender silk kimono. This is what she wrote: “Dearest Alice, No need to have such confusing thoughts. I know that you suffer and worry so very much. You have lived many lifetimes as my daughter, but I could not come back in this life as I am so shamed from my past life. I killed myself in front of you and the family as I was caught with another man. As soon as I died, I saw the faces of my children and I screamed for forgiveness. “So it is to say in your life to leave a husband could feel like a death. Will it happen is your question. With the seasons come change. Nothing ever stays the same. You speak of love and passion. It is not wrong to love and it is not wrong to have passion. I found this out a hard and sad way. It need not be so traumatic for you. If you cannot find the passion again for your husband, then you must set him free to experience love and passion. “In ancient Japan we used to share our men with other women. But this is not openly accepted in your society. You may need change in your life. There may be others on your path of destiny. You must be brave enough to reach for happiness and hope and ride the dragon until it is still. I can tell you that if I had to do my past life over, I would never have given up the passion and love I felt for another. I wouldn’t have let others brow beat me into making such a rash decision. You have plenty of time. Meditate. Do not make rash decisions. But when you have made up your mind, stand your ground and if deep down you are happy, you know you’ve made the right choice. My love to you always.” Your other mother, Note from Abenda: “Wishing you light and clarity on your journey of self knowledge and growth. Take courage to act and believe in yourself. You are strong. You have done nothing wrong.” In love and oneness, |
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