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Cause & Effect Happy New Year. Although, like many of you, I have been going through many stages of change this past year, I asked Abenda to address this on a more communal level. I wish you light and peace on your continued journey and I hope I get to stop and linger with you along the way. Abenda's message for the new year “First of all, I wish you a blessed year of many beautiful moments filled with wonder and amazement. Life is to be lived and enjoyed. I know it's not always easy, but there is the dawn of a new day. Even in the midst of constant change, you can clarify what you want, be thoughtful in your choices, and be gentle with yourself and those you love. Take a moment to reflect and decide on your next steps in life. Not all plans will come to fruition, but they can set a new energy into play and start you down a new path. Be open to the surprises and joy. Recognize when you are doing well and when others are doing well. Tune “in,” not “out.” “And do not live in fear. Times of turmoil are ongoing on school house earth -- whether it's personally for some, nationally for many, or worldly for all. Deciding to live well comes from within. Unconditionally love your life, without blame, without prejudice, without heartache. As many of you face changes and challenges in the coming year, be aware of your actions and reactions. You are to be the embodiment of understanding among human kind. Be mindful before reacting. It is important for you, it is important for others. “Life is full of bounty and blessings and they are yours by birthright. You deserve love, good health and prosperity. This is your key. YOU DESERVE. “Meditate, bring the Divine earth energy to you. Open your heart and your hands. Do not be afraid of the unknown. Find the answers you seek, stick with them, live the life you envision for yourself, be smart in all your decisions. Yes, you do deserve.” In loving oneness, Abenda
Q. “My heart is breaking. My dear, sweet mother Helen is seriously ill with a mysterious disease. She has been vigorously healthy all of 81 years and has not even seen a doctor since her children were born. In December, she began to have stroke symptoms: slurred speech and weakness in her legs. She had a battery of tests and the doctors say she might have Lou Gehrigs disease. Where the body gives out while the mid is whole. Our Dad doesn't want her to know what they are thinking because he fears she would sink into depression. I know that I can't hope for a miracle as we all can't live forever. Our Mom lived her entire life for her family, there was nothing she wouldn't do for any one of us. I do wish she could have a peaceful and if it's possible happy death. Do you have any advice for me? I have never known such a profound sadness in my entire life. Thank You So Much,” Karen Clemens, St. Paul, MN
A. A woman in a red dress came to speak, she said her name was Darlana. “Dear Karen, I am here to hold your hand and the hand of your mother. She will be sick now to allow you and her other children the process of letting go. She need not stay with you forever, but she will, the bonds of love are the strongest feelings to keep you connected. She does love you very, very much. She needs you to be strong in your grief, to hold your dad's hand and to be as easy on yourself as possible. Do not wallow in self-pity but think of what your mother is going through, she needs you as strong as possible that she may relay on your strength. She has been there for you many times, you will be there for her. Love never ceases in the universe. If she has taken this time to create a crisis in her life, your test is to be her rock and foundation, to soothe her when she's in pain or suffering, mentally as well as physically. You are a great daughter, you will live up to your full daughter status on what a great daughter will do for her mother in good times or in bad times. Your mother has adored being your mother. Be adoring in kind at this time. Know that is it not the quantity but the quality of your lives that make it perfect. And in your mother's perception you have been perfect, she would not trade her life for she has secured great love from you and those who love her. “In ancient Rome, she was the son of an Emperor. He was a very sick child and could not do many things. For many lifetimes your mother has made up for this and loves to be very handy and capable. In that lifetime you were her male cousin about the same age and you spent many hours together enjoying each other’s company. There was an inner, colorful world to explore so you both did a lot of creating stories and projects. You grew up and became dignified and your cousin missed you as you were busy with your scribe writings. You would bring copies for him to read and discuss as he was in a wheelchair. You made him feel useful, he never got over that. She has lived many lifetimes with you all. She remembers in her dreams sometimes a sweet life that she led in Egypt 1348. She was the daughter of a fine merchant and she helped with all the merchandise. She married a man who helped her father. You were her first born baby in that lifetime she would wrap you in her body with cloth. She adored that life and had eight more children. “The lineage of love spans many lifetimes. True love never goes away, it only transforms and gets better and better. Honor that love, honor your mother, she has made you proud. I am here for you at all times. I know it is not an easy time. I Love You, Darlana”
Note from Abenda: “Dear Karen, Know that your memories are eternal. In this time of dis-ease, you are to be the ever-loving daughter, friend, confidant and bolsterer. Do not allow fear to enter your being, it is a time to be a participant in life. Allow yourself to go through this turmoil, which we all experience. You are truly a remarkable woman.” Love & In Oneness, Abenda
Q. “Hello again to both Tara and Abenda. A few years ago you helped my mom and me. Since then, both my mother and father have passed over. I feel so lost. Mom was my co-pilot and friend. My partner against the craziness in life. Dad was my hero and strength until he gave up. “For the past 38 years I've lived with them and for them. No matter where I went, I was always with them. They were my life. Now that I'm on my own, I don't know what to do. I find the people around me don't listen to me. The man I'm playing house with is not the man of my choice. My son and daughter are trying to see how far they can push me and my brother is still trying to find his way. I know they are in my life for a reason, but it's so hard to deal with them. “I'm angry right now. I have no one to talk to, no one who will listen to me. My mom told me "learn to listen and I'll be there for you". I can't hear her, I want to. God knows I want to, but how? The only thing I want is to do what is right. I always have. What am I suppose to do? I know Mom and Dad are happy. They both deserve the reward of their "retirement". I'm happy for them, they got to go home. I miss them. I'm lost, lonely and very near to being desperate. “Please, can you help me again?” Rose, Bayonne, NJ
A. A woman with short blonde hair came to speak. She says her name is Marnina. She quietly put her hand out and said she was reaching out to you to bring you comfort. “Dearest Rose, Remember that your mother can hear you. Your atmosphere is dense and thick for your real ears to hear. Your mother was a listener. She loved to hear you in any mood, in any environment. You are loved by your mother in the present tense. She will love you no matter where or why. You are feeling the loss of her earthly love, but her love nonetheless is intact. Concentrate on the love. There is no loss, only change. You will never be without her or her guidance. She waits for you in a place where the guides and guardians wait, it's above the confusion level of the thick atmosphere of earth. It is not far, do not feel lost. “You must be reminded you are to live, Rose. You are to find happiness and contentment. To love others is not a conditional process. Your parents loved you unconditionally. The rapport may be greater than you have with your children, but they need you to listen. You are to be unconditional, you are to be mother love. As you know there is great joy in being loved by your mother. You may not be able to step into your children’s lives full time but you can plant seeds of love and understanding. Do not be afraid at this time. Do not burden them with your loss, as they are burdened by the loss of you. Be aware of your actions and what others are perceiving. Step up to the plate as your mother did. “Your father sends you kudos and loving wishes. He is well. Exhausted he was, but he now has renewed energy and vitality, he says he wanted to tell you that he always had this dream of living at a country club with a big golf course. Now he's there on green clipped lawns and he shares his new found time with mother and his leisure. She's taking different lessons and trying to learn to communicate through the layers of atmosphere between our worlds. She wants to communicate clearer to you. Your father wants me to explain how we hear you. We hear you as though we are tuning into a radio station. Although it's a faint crackle or spark and we "realize" we are being paged personally and turn our focus to the spark. We then hear everything coming from your mind or voice. Yes, we can hear your mind. Your mind goes so fast in so many directions sometimes we get some of your confusion. We send waves of thought back to you, but rarely do you perceive. We get a much clearer signal for us to focus into your communication. “Be aware of your need for self pity. It is natural to mourn loss. It is your turn to touch lives, that is part of the earth process and the example of love is your lesson to teach others. You have had great love, you understand the giving of energy. You need only give it out in small ways. It doesn't need to be dramatic. Gestures of kindness go a long way. That doesn't mean you allow yourself to be walked on or belittled by others. The human spirit often protects itself by pushing away the energy of others. Self-protection includes sarcasm, neglect, ignoring, exasperation, defiling, and exaggeration. What makes you feel better? A kind word, smile, helpful gesture, small gift, friendly way, open attitude, acceptance, and silent caring. This is what all humans like and need. “A past life with your mother. You were her mother in 356 AD in Sparta area. The warlords came through your village and took all the women, leaving only the older women to care for the children. You mourned your daughter (mother of this life) as you never saw her again in that life and always wondered where she was and if she was happy. So it is within you to feel lost without her. “You only need look at your feet to know where you are supposed to be at this time. Bless the path your feet walk upon. No use feeling sorry for yourself or others, this path can be one of magic or misery, only you can make that decision. Your viewpoint is your compass through life, and as your friend remember I will help guide you through the trials of life.” My Love Always, Marnina Note from Abenda: “Dear Rose, Know that every rose has a thorn. Life is beautiful and it can hurt. You are blessed and love by many. To love others is to be vulnerable and without vulnerability you cannot open to your full potential for joy. Be open to your life and it's blessings.” In Love and Calm and Light, Abenda
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Tara cannot answer letters personally, but will
respond to as many as possible in this column. Questions must be sent in a signed letter via US mail to Box 38, Malibu, CA 90265. She uses the letter and signature as a psychic touchstone.