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Freedom From Yourself "The true value of a human being _____________________________ The Premise "The search for true freedom is what all my communications are ultimately about--freedom of the self and from the self. Freedom of the self means literal freedom: freedom from oppressive environments and relationships, the freedom of a satisfying career, and the freedom to make life meaningful. Freedom from the self means freedom from domination by fear-based emotions such as prejudice, anger, selfishness, jealousy, hate, repression, greed, possessiveness, envy, guilt, inhibition, egotism, malice, resentment and blame. These fears are your karma. They keep you earthbound on the wheel of reincarnation." _____________________________ The following dialogues between have been reconstructed from audio tapes of Bushido® and Master of Life trainings. They appear in my book Radical Spirituality--Metaphysical Awareness For A New Century (Valley of the Sun -- 1995). The dialogues are edited for readability and often condensed to make a point. Names are changed to protect the privacy of the participants. Outside the context of a seminar or counseling session, these encounters can appear cold and unfeeling. In reality, I have one goal in mind -- to create the space for the individual to help him/herself, by discovering inner truths. In my human-potential seminars, I use words as a stick to jab participants who aren’t “getting it.” One participant might react best to shock, another to gentle support, another to teasing. My goal is to guide the individual to become aware of self-defeating attitudes and behavior, and to jolt them out of intellectual ruts, passé notions, and convictions restricting their life. To be effective, I must be willing to incur their dislike. Some readers will question how the content relates to spirituality. My response is that everything you think, say and do creates karma, including the motive, intent and desire behind everything you think, say and do. That being the case, every aspect of life relates to spirituality. Or ... life is spirituality!
1. “I came into this workshop angry with you about things you’ve written, and now I’m even more upset,” said Angelia, a woman in her early forties with short-cropped brown hair. She hid excess weight beneath a loose-fitting dress and shawl. Two hundred people were gathered in the hotel ballroom. Angelia spoke into a microphone, her voice reverberating through the room. “Do you want to tell us why you’re angry, Angelia?” I said. “Some of the things you say about our spiritual beliefs,” she said, scowling. “You’d rather I deny what is and pander to New Age correctness?” “Oh, come on.” “You should thank me for projecting your shadow-side.” “What’s that mean?” “I’m reflecting what’s unresolved within you--a mirror for fearful emotions you need to integrate. It’s a great opportunity.” “This is ridiculous. You’re unaccepting of things we all believe,” she said, crossing her arms while managing to hold the Microphone to her lips. “Beliefs such as think only positive thoughts, attain enlightenment, lead a selfless life, become a projection of love, meditate, meditate, meditate? Things like that?” “For starters.” “Doesn’t work, Angelia. It denies reality and ignores a necessary unconscious balance. It’s an attitude that keeps life from fully expressing itself.” “I fully express my life. And I think positive thoughts ninety-eight percent of the time.” “Like right now?” She laughed. “You’re part of the two percent.” “So when angry, jealous, greedy, judgmental, or prejudicial thoughts come into your mind, you just push them aside and refuse to acknowledge them?” “That’s right,” she said. “You drive them down into your unconscious, where they remain, festering?” “I see it as rising above them.” “You think they’re gone?” She shrugged. “They’re not gone, Angelia. They’ve been repressed ... avoided, and now they’re festering, waiting for an opportunity to be expressed.” “What do you mean, expressed?” “Maybe you’ll get an ulcer, or yell at someone who doesn’t deserve it, or you might repress for years until your shadow-side manifests as arthritis, or cancer, or ...” Angelia interrupted, “But you talk about how the mind functions like a computer--positive begets positive and negative begets negative.” “Only real positive can beget positive. When you limit the expression of life, you’re repressing, which begets negative.” “Well, how do you get around it?” she said, her frustration evident. “If you feel anger but deny or refuse to express it, you’re repressing, which is fear. But to recognize the anger and dismiss it without emotion is an expression of detached mind. True detachment can only result from expanded awareness.” I turned my attention to all the seminar participants. “When you draw boundaries and say, ‘I’ll never think negative thoughts,’ or ‘I’ll always do this,’ or ‘I’ll never do that,’ you pit your willpower against your unconscious, but it never works. Your unconscious will always find a way to balance life.”
2. “How can you put down selfless service?” said Janie, a woman of about fifty with long graying hair. She wore several bold pieces of Native American jewelry. “It doesn’t exist.” “Oh really? Well, I’ve devoted the last five years of my life to taking care of my dying father. I would much rather have enjoyed myself, dated, taken some vacations.” “What would you think of a daughter who left her father to die with uncaring strangers, Janie?” “Someone utterly lacking in compassion, who is also creating negative karma.” “You see yourself as being a loving, compassionate daughter?” “Yes.” “And you would have felt terribly guilty if you had refused to care for your father?” “He didn’t have anyone else.” “And you certainly don’t want to create negative karma?” She shook her head. “So you did it for yourself, Janie. Just like everyone else on the planet, you lived up to your self-image of being a good daughter, and you avoided painful guilt. Your father was served, but you did it for yourself.” No response. I’m not saying don’t help others. Be patient, compassionate and generous. Accept your kindness as self-serving, and do it anyway. The idea is stop fooling yourself about why you do what you do. Look at your true motive, intent and desire.” No response. “You can stop waiting for a gold star.”
3. "Most of you are seeking enlightenment, and you think you're going to find it by looking under a white light or through some 'cosmic foo-foo' spiritual discipline." I said. I noticed a few scowls. Many of the seminar participants began crossing their arms, closing off communication with body language. I pushed harder. "First of all, the odds are probably 100,000-to-one against attaining enlightenment in this life! You'll have to settle for self-actualization." "This is ridiculous," said a young man in his mid-twenties. He had raised his hand, and without waiting to be acknowledged, stood up and began speaking before a support team member arrived with a microphone. "I've been studying spirituality for six years, and I didn't come here to be told there's no chance of my being enlightened." I walked up the aisle until I was close enough to read his nametag. "There's always a chance, Phil. But many of the things you believe are not true. You've accepted beliefs about people and philosophy and truth that have helped you to survive, but you've been conned. So has everyone else in this room." "You don't know anything!" Phil sputtered. "I know that the level of your success in life will depend, to a great degree, upon your ability to let go of fear and mistaken beliefs." "Well, I know absolutely that there are many enlightened souls upon the earth. Obviously, you aren't one of them," Phil said. "No, I'm not, but I'd like you to show me one. Are you speaking of the big names in the spiritual field? The famous Eastern gurus, or the best-selling metaphysical authors, or the channelers, or the human-potentials leaders?" "Sure, for starters." "I don't think so, Phil. Many of these people are friends who are doing wonderful work and many are certainly self-actualized, but not enlightened. And at least a dozen other guru types have been involved in major public scandals in the past few years. I'm afraid that most who proclaim to be enlightened, aren't." "Maybe we don't define enlightened the same way," Phil said. "Well, wouldn't an enlightened soul be someone who has attained freedom from fear-based emotions, such as prejudice, anger, worry, selfishness, jealousy, hate, repression, greed, possessiveness, envy, guilt, inhibitions, egotism, malice, resentment, and blame?" I responded. "There are a lot of people who have attained freedom from the self," Phil said, firmly. "Really? People who never, ever get upset by circumstances or the actions of others? They never judge others in any way? They totally accept what is? They never take anything personally? They never smile when they don't real feel like smiling? They ..." Phil interrupted. "What do you mean, 'smile when they feel like smiling'?" "If you smile when you don't feel like smiling, you're not being direct and honest in your communications. You're wearing a mask and repressing who you really are. That's fear. Maybe just a little bitty fear, but fear. You fear that others won't like you if you don't smile. Or you'll feel uncomfortable if you don't make them feel more comfortable, or ..." "Got it," Phil said, sitting down.
4. "How is anyone ever going to rise above all the fear-based emotions?" asked Jennifer, a pretty blond woman in her thirties who wore the latest Melrose Avenue fashions with flair. "Well, it certainly won't happen unless you give it importance and set it as a goal." I said. "It can only result from the expanded awareness of self-actualized thinking. Change takes time. You have to work at it." “But it’s such a difficult task, why even bother?” “Because your life will work better and better in direct relationship to your ability to rise above the fears. Even a little effort at understanding will result in improvements.” “I’m sure you’d claim fighting with my husband is based on fear,” she said. “Sure, You want approval or control or you wouldn’t fight. Both actions are manifestations of the fear of not getting what you want.” “I don’t understand.” “You want your husband to approve of your actions or reactions, or you want to control his actions or reactions. He wants the same thing.” “I want him to stop criticizing me.” “You want to control his actions.” “Well, I guess so, if that’s what it takes to get him to stop.” “You make my point, Jennifer. But let’s take this a little further and explore it from a self-actualized viewpoint. Is your husband normally a critical person?” “Yes, he’s always been critical of everything and everybody.” “Always? Then do you think he is going to change?” “No, not really.” “You married him, knowing that he was a critical person?” “Yes, but ...” “Do you want out of the marriage?” “No, absolutely not. I love him.” “Okay, you can’t change another person. He has to want to change and be willing to work at it. That doesn’t sound too likely, although I would suggest that you calmly express your needs in this area. But for the moment, if you don’t think he’ll change, and you are upset by the criticism, it sounds to me like it’s up to you to change how you respond to your husband.” “Hmmm,” she said. “What if your husband were married to a different woman named Sally who looked different, but did the same basic things you do. Would he be critical of her?” “Yes, I know he would.” “Then the real problem is that you’re taking the criticism personally. Most problems in life are not resolved by an actual change, but by a change in viewpoint. If you could develop ‘detached mind’ you’d stop taking things personally. You’d know someone else’s reaction to you, good or bad, is a viewpoint based upon their past programming. It has nothing to do with you. The way they relate to you is the way they would related to anyone who represented to them what you represent. In this case, your husband is a man who would criticize any wife.” “So I have to change my thinking.” “If you want to end the conflict, let go of your old beliefs about reality. Reality exists as a manifestation of your viewpoint. If you let your husband’s criticism flow through you without affecting you, you rise above the effects of fear. If you can do that, you’ll no longer have a problem, although nothing about the problem situation will have changed except your viewpoint.” ”Maybe I could use some assertiveness training techniques, too,” she said. “Good idea.”
5. “Is boredom a fear-based emotion?” asked Terry, a middle-aged man clad in a herringbone sport coat with leather patches on the sleeves. “Any negative emotion is based on fear,” I said. “Boredom is a loud message. It’s saying, ‘I’m living wrong!’” “What do you mean?” Terry asked. “The human mind cannot tolerate boredom for long. The brain/mind professionals have documented that if you don’t make your life interesting and meaningful, your mind will do it for you. It will generate conflicts, or an illness, or an accident. Anything to make life more interesting!” “But I can’t help it that I’m bored,” he said. “Bullshit, Terry! There’s no challenge in your life. That’s why you’re bored. Whose responsibility is that, if not yours? It’s time to live a little more dangerously and start risking. The moment you do, your boredom will disappear.”
6. “Freedom from yourself will evolve out of a new way of thinking ... a self-actualized, Master of Life way of thinking. Self-examination is the first step. Examine your beliefs, your reactions, your concerns. You can’t change what you don’t recognize.” “I’m a perfectionist. Is that a fear?” asked a stern-looking young woman. “Most perfectionists are neurotics. That’s pretty fearful. Are you neurotic, Betty?” “I don’t think so,” she said. “What is your reaction when you don’t do a job perfectly?” “Ah ... well, I guess I feel guilty. Sure, I feel guilty, real guilty.” “Have you answered your own question?” I asked. She was silent for a moment, then said, “Okay, but what do I do about it?” “I suggest that you begin by finding the cause of your neurosis. Everything we feel relates to a cause, which is based on a past event or a series of events that have programmed us to be the way we are. But no matter what the past cause, change will come through self-actualized awareness in the present.” NOTEAfter a back-to-the-cause group hypnotic regression session, Betty related the following: “My mother died when I was only five, so I don’t know for sure if this is true. But in hypnosis, I relived a situation in which she spanked me. I was probably about three years old, and I had gotten into her sewing kit and scattered the pieces all over the room. My mother became hysterical and told me to put everything back in the case, exactly as it was. If I didn’t do it perfectly, she would spank me until I did. I think I spent the entire afternoon futility trying to get it perfect. She’d leave the room, come back a few minutes later to check the box, spank me and repeat the process. I was so scared I shook.” “Do you get that you no longer need to put the sewing kit back together, Betty?” I said, laughing. “From now on, you can do a good job without being a perfectionist. There’s no longer any reason to feel guilty.”
7. “Pessimism must also be a fear,” said Walter, a fortyish, balding man, dressed very conservatively. I smiled and nodded in response. “I wasn’t always a pessimist. In my youth, I was pretty optimistic, but how can anyone go through the experiences of life without seeing how it works. I’m just a realist, acknowledging life for what it is -- a screwed-up mess.” “A pessimist looks at life negatively. He’s usually filled with anger because life hasn’t been fair to him, or so he feels. And because life doesn’t work the way he wants it to work, he blames life for all his problems. Right, Walter?” No response. “RIGHT WALTER?” “Right,” he mumbled. “We’ve already covered the subject of self-responsibility in great detail in this seminar. So let’s look at blame. Playing the part of a victim and blaming others for your circumstances is useless resistance. And blame is nothing but an expression of self-pity. Would you like us to pity you, Walter?” “Don’t bother.” “Well, what about the programming power of pessimism? Now that’s heavy. Your mind is a bio-computer that creates your reality based on your thoughts and emotions. Thus, the more pessimistic you are, the more miserable your life becomes. It’s an automatic downward spiral. Are you having a wonderful life, Walter?” “No, and this seminar is just as stupid as I expected it to be,” he replied, stalking out of the room.
8. “Let’s not get stuck on just the obvious fears” I said. “Anyone with an addiction of any kind is not free. And anyone who is dominated by their passions is not free.” “I can’t see that following your passions is a bad thing,” said John, an overweight young man in his early thirties. He wore tan duck pants and a bulky sweater. “Being passionate isn’t bad, John. But if your passions take control, causing you to ignore reason, you’re being dominated by your passions. You might have such a passion for food that you indulge it to the point of obesity. I don’t think you want that. When you do what you don’t want to do, you’re not free.” “What about sexual passions?” he asked. “If your sexual passions cause you to do things that result in loss of self-esteem or endanger your health, the answer is pretty obvious, isn’t it?”
9. “I really dislike someone I work with. In fact, truth is, I hate him. But in this case, it isn’t fear, it’s wisdom. Ayn Rand says that we must never fail to pronounce moral judgment,” said Linda, a thin woman of about 35, dressed in a sport coat and jeans. “Although I agree with Ayn Rand in many areas, we’re at odds on judgment. But if you’re a fan of hers, you know she says hatred is generated by profound self-doubt, self-condemnation and fear. It’s a mental projection toward another of the hatred you feel toward yourself. “Maybe that’s true,” I continued. “I know that hatred is self-destructive as subconscious programming. It also generates programming that will draw what you hate back to you. What you resist, you will attract because you need to learn from it. You’ll continue to draw the hated person or someone with the same tendencies into your life until you can release this fear. Examine hate in the light of the Universal Law of Attraction: Where your attention goes, your energy flows. You attract what you are and what you concentrate upon. You always attract the qualities you possess. If you want peace and harmony in your life, you must become peaceful and harmonious.”
10. “I’ve been studying these things for 30 years, Richard,” said an elderly lady who remained seated while speaking into the microphone. “I’ve certainly changed my life for the better because of my expanded awareness, but I have a problem with the fear of insecurity. I don’t think any of us are ever going to eliminate insecurity. Life is insecure. Love is insecure. We’re always moving from the known to the unknown.” “I agree with you, Joanne. We don’t eliminate our fears, but we can alter our viewpoint to rise above the effects of fear. The most self-actualized people on earth have fears, but the difference lies in the way they respond to fear. From a self-actualized perspective, if you were to attain total security in a particular area, you would soon become bored with that aspect of your life. There would be no challenge and it would become dull and mundane. So transform the way you experience insecurity. It’s insecurity, the unknown and unknowable that makes life exciting, that generates the rush, the titillation, the thrill of aliveness. Instead of fearing insecurity, embrace it, thank it.”
11. “You simplify spirituality and take all the spiritual out of it,” said Norm. He was about thirty, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. “Life is spirituality, so how can I take the spiritual out of life? If it makes you feel better to study dogmas, experience rituals, or work with a guru, then you may feel you have to earn your awareness, Norm. But in the end, it will all come down to integrating your fears.” “But being a truly spiritual person means more than that,” he said. “Does it” If you experience no fear, all that would be left would be love. How much more spiritual can you get?” “Oh.” “There’s another way to look at it. Master Eckart said, ‘If you empty yourself, God enters into you.” “I like that,” he said. “Fear results from ignorance of your God-self?” I like that,” I said. “And maybe we’re afraid because we’re not really sure there is a God-self beneath all our fearful emotions. If who you really are, beneath the fear programming, is an enlightened God-self, then what could you possibly fear?”
12. “For those of you who accept reincarnation as what is, you understand that your fear-based emotions will keep you earthbound. They are your karma and you will continue to reincarnate until you have no disharmonious attachments whatsoever. So, your earthly purpose is to learn to let go of fear. And while you’re at it, life is not something to be endured and suffered through. Life is about achievement and success, love and awareness, joy and exaltation. Of course, no one will force you to experience life the way it is meant to be. You have the free will to ruin it if you want to,” I said. Click Here To Go To |
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