Today is Saturday. I wake up with a strong feeling that something important will occur. I don't know what, but you can feel it in the air. I have a heightened sense of anticipation -- is it the appointment with Richard at 4:30 this afternoon that I was dreading so much several days ago? What can possibly be more revealing than the information already discovered this week? I remind myself to brush away the anticipation and enjoy every minute of the day until each moment reveals itself. After all, this is the last full day with my new friends in Lake Arrowhead.

After breakfast, Richard begins the day's activities with another human potential exercise. We look at our personal values and determine what's most important to us. We then examine our buttons. What causes me to react? What causes embarrassment? How does what other people think push my buttons? How am I manipulated? The responses are readily accessible and echo the work done all week. I view this exercise as a reality check; i.e., these questions and answers reflect how my daily behavior is influencing my life.

After a brief break, Richard indicates we are going to do my group regression to go back to the cause of my twenty-year medical condition. He explains that as he regresses me, Tara will be communicating with her guide Abenda via automatic writing to obtain another viewpoint of the situation. When appropriate, Richard will direct the seminar participants to sit around me and use their combined energy in the regression to clear away the effects of what we discover. I find a comfortable chair while Richard sets up the microphone to record the session. After a few deep breaths and the usual induction, I immediately fall into a deep hypnotic state ...

S.   She's dressed in black! She's dressed in black!

R.   All right, now how many of you are there?

S.   There are only two of us.

R.   All right, now tell me more about it. I want to know lots more about the situation.

S.   It's a secret society. We are a coven. It's underground ... under the trees. It is a cave with lots of tree roots. We're there to merge our power. And I don't feel good about this.

R.   Let's continue to look at this. Let's wait until the other people come in. I'll count from one to three and there will be others there so that you can better understand exactly what the others are doing. Now, one, two, three.

S.   They're there. They are in a circle and they each have a candle. And the ceremony is going to begin. The ceremony is between the two of us to bond us for life to merge our power.

R.   All right. And this is a bonding that will last, that will continue into future incarnations, this is so?

S.   Exactly. I don't want to do this. It's not supposed to be this way.

R.   All right. But let's look at it. Let's look at it closely; let's see what you do.

S.   I do it. They are all there, that's what they are doing.

R   And it's a bonding with how many people.

S.   Just the one. Just the one. She is very anxious to get my power. She wants to add my power to hers.

R.   And what about you, how are you benefiting from this? Are you adding your power to hers?

S.   I don't want it.

R.   You don't want it, but yet you've agreed to do this.

S.   I feel that they are forcing me to do it. The strength of all of them in that room. There must be forty of them.

R.   You are indeed a member of the coven, is this correct?

S.   Yes. I was brought in as a baby and I was brought in for this moment. They stole me from somewhere.

R.   Have they trained you, educated you, and taught you to do these things? Do you have a natural affinity for them?

S.   I knew more than they did ever. I have the power.

R.   All right, let's see what happens after this ceremony. You are convinced that she will actually have your power by doing this, right?

S.   Yes

R.   OK, let's move in time a little ways. One, two, three. Speak up and tell me what comes of this.

S.   They are not doing good things to the people.

R.   Tell me about the things you are doing to other people.

S.   We go in to the city and the town. We go in and do bad things to them. And I know it's so wrong. (crying and hysterical) They just don't understand. I can't get them to understand. We are taking things from them ... their power, their wealth, ruining their lives.

R.   And you're benefiting as a result of this. You are attaining their wealth? You are somehow benefiting because ...

S.   (Interrupting) It's all about power. We are increasing our power. We want to be powerful so we can take over everyone.

R.   I want you to step outside of this for just a moment and I want you to give me an idea where you are. Your location, the country, the city, or the town. Where are you?

S.   Somewhere in Europe. Romania, Czechoslovakia, somewhere over there.

R.   I want you to let go of this right now, and I want you to move in time once again only you are going to move to something very important that is going to happen in this exploration. One, two, three.

S.   I've left.

R.   You've left the commune.

S.   They don't know that I've left. I left in the dark and they don't know that I've gone and they won't know until morning and then it will be too late.

R.   All right. Let's explore this idea, where will you run?

S.   I don't know. It's OK to leave.

R.   Let's move along then until something important happens again. Let's see where you go or what happens as a result of running away. One, two three.

S.   It's like a religious place. There's a lot of light there. We were in black and they are in white. It's an abbey, a monastery. They were there to help me. They knew I was coming and they took care of me.

R.   How did they know you were coming?

S.   I don't know. I don't know. It's all white.

R.   Will you be safe here?

S.   Yes, I can regain my power in the light. 

R.   Let's move quite a ways in time so that we can explore the outcome of this decision to come to this religious center, this monastery. On the count of three, quite a bit of time will have passed or something significant will have occurred. One, two, three. Take a look at yourself as far as your age. How old are you?

S.   I am about forty.

R.   All right. Have you been here a long time now?

S.   Yes, twenty-four years.

R.   Do you sense peace?

S.   Very much.

R.   It was the right move to leave the coven to come here?

S.   Right.

Richard now directs the group to place their hands on me and feed me energy. He asks that I perceive the energy and take it in as freely given in love. The energy will be enough for me to tap in and receive answers such as those I have not ever received before.

R.   What do you need to do so that we can create a new reality for you. So that you can let go of the physical effects and release the negative effects and allow you to move forward in time to a brand new life. Allow this understanding to come in and I then would like you to speak up when you can and tell me what you perceive.

S.   I need to break the bond ... break the pact. I need to see the energy dissipate and see the energy dissolve.

R.   What else. Are you are living result of karma of that life? In the bonding, did you create a situation that you have to pay off over a long period of time?

S.   I participated in the ceremony. Even though I didn't want to, I had to.

R.   And so your actions did create a karmic result that has echoed down through the centuries?

S.   Yes.

R.   Let's begin with the image of the coven dissolving. I want you to look at the ceremony in your mind, the ceremony that created the situation and knowing that with the power of all these people around you that it can be dissolved. So see it. You are dressed in all white now and they are all there. Correct?

S.   Yes, and they are all in white now. They are very agitated because they don't like what we are doing. I just look everyone one of them in the eye in that circle. I break the circle. I won't let them stay in the circle. And then we are going to put a hole in this caldron right at the bottom and let all this fluid drain out ... drop by drop, by drop, by drop. It's happening. The fluid is going down and they are horrified because I have just ruined everything for them. It's going, it's going, it's going.

R.   See yourself in the white. We're all now sending you white light. We all see you very, very clearly there all dressed in white and we are sending you our power. We are sending you the light. Feel it. Feel the power and feel the energy coming into your body. Feel the energy to break the bond.

S.   The caldron is almost empty. The person is just ... she's melting, she's melting away. She is melting. She's gone, she's gone ... she's gone. She's totally gone. They are all gone! She's totally gone! They are all gone! They are all gone!

R.   Good, good. The caldron is empty

S.   Yes, and it is no longer black, it is crystal, white crystal. (deep sigh)

R.   Yes. Be free of that Susan, be free of that Susan. Can you be free of that now, Susan? Can you be free?

S.   Yes. (Said with confidence) It's gone! It's gone!

R.   All right, now let this be. We ask it, we beseech it, we mark it and so it is and the tie is broken. And now let's pull back into higher self and get impressions. You are back in higher mind remaining in the light. Remaining with the energy being freely given to you and when you can, I now want you to tell me and to tell yourself what does Susan need to do? What are the next steps? Is there anything necessary to help to create the reality that you would like to create. To rise above the physical problems. Will this be enough? Is there more that you need to do? Listen and if you are willing, speak up.

S.   This should be enough to return to my strength and my power.

R.   All right. Listen to see if there is anything else that is being communicated to you by those that surround you, the loving masters, your teachers, your spirit guides.

S.   It's time to let the guilt go.

R.   Yes. Susan hears that, yes?

S.   YES!

R.   Good. Good. And so be it ...

Richard dissolves the chakra links and we return to full consciousness. I emerge from the regression experiencing many emotions simultaneously: laughing, crying, confused, amazed, surprised, etc. The woman I had the bond with is my mother. During the regression, once the bond was broken, I felt a physical change -- there is no doubt in my mind the tie is broken and wherever she is at this moment, she also felt it. For a few minutes, other participants in the group share their experience during the regression and offer their comments and insights to me.

Tara reads aloud Abenda's message received during the regression.

Dear Susan,

The columns of light beings are here to help you understand the misgivings of the past incarnations.

You have put yourself in many incarnations. You listen to yourself and stop dividing your power. You give away power, beauty, and gifts that are rightly yours.

Since you did not want the coven member's power, she has the strength and you gained the weaknesses. This is not real -- but you have carried this for centuries. You can be and change.

You have the strength!

There is another incarnation where you were a doctor and you wanted to have too much fun and drank a lot. This caused mistakes on giving medication and herbs to others, but this has been paid for in five lifetimes -- you no longer need to experience pain and sadness. You can experience oneness, love, friendships, travel, money, and art. Your energy can open and give Susan the right to be free and gain confidence, understanding and great love.

Another incarnation that Susan has not explored is her house that became the orphanage. She loved many children and sacrificed her life for them.

You will walk in the path of brightness, color, and sunshine.

The columns of light bless you and release you to experience your earthly life. They will continue to guide you.

I wish you well -- with much luck!

Love & in Oneness,

Abenda

As we break for lunch, Richard readies the equipment for the individual afternoon sessions in the alcove upstairs and the remainder of the group heads toward the dining room. I take a moment by myself in the great room to breathe deeply, look around, and think about what just occurred. Perhaps the others didn't realize, but I have not shared the name of my guides during the week, so Abenda's recognition of the columns of light beings served as a validation for me. I feel this experience is going to be life changing. At this time, I don't know what will change nor how it will come about. What I do know is that by daring to unravel the secrets of the soul, I've taken a giant leap towards a freer future. Am I able to do it again at 4:30 this afternoon at Richard's individual session?

After lunch, we have the afternoon free and I can't seem to settle down. I go outside to the back deck to relax and stay about five minutes. I then head up to my room to grab a nap and listen to some music. No way, it doesn't happen. After wandering around the house, I encounter several others and finally engage in conversation that slows me down. What a morning! I don't even want to think what the afternoon will bring!

Around 4:30, Richard is ready for the individual session. I hold my breath as we walk up the curved staircase to the alcove where Richard is conducting his past-life sessions. He chats away about the ceiling being too low and scraping the top of his head while climbing the stairs. With each step, the frantic feeling in my gut says we are about to explore a few more secrets. It happened at many sessions Richard and Tara conducted this week at the Lake Arrowhead Flight to Freedom Seminar. There is every reason to believe it will happen again. I breathe deeply and convince myself to keep walking up the stairs. Why am I so afraid of this session? What secrets am I resisting?

With the final step of the staircase, I realize it is the last afternoon of the last day and this is the only remaining opportunity to finish the work I set out to do. I take the last step towards busting all of my secrets wide open.

Richard and I discuss what I wish to accomplish in this session. I want to focus on the relationship with my father. What's behind the issues of our current life together? My grandmother always told me I began fighting with him the day I was born. As an example, I tell the story of my musical abilities as a very young child. One specific incident occurred when I was fourteen. I wouldn't play the music my father wanted, so he cut the cord off of the electronic organ and I was unable to play any music. He demanded an apology and made it clear that he would never replace it until I promised to play the music he wanted whenever he wanted it. I gave the apology and then walked away from the music. I never played for him again. It was far from an ordinary situation. Richard makes some notes and then we begin ...

R.   ... Let's go back now, way back in time to find out about the time that you were with your father that has most influenced your current life ...

S.   I'm in the Alps and in Germany. There's a little boy there. He's my boy, but I don't want him, he's too much trouble and I am constantly telling him to just go away. He is my son. He's about five; he's very pretty.

R.   Why do you want him to go away?

S.   I am too busy. I am too busy trying to get food for us because there is no man here.

R.   So what do you have to do to get the food?

S.   I have a garden, I have to work in my garden. I think that I go work for other people somewhere, I never know what to do with him.

R.   And so what do you do with him? Let's move along, let's move to wherever you go to work for the people. Let's just go there to see what happens. Let's what you do with the little boy. Number one, number two, number three, there you are.

S.   I am working in this house in the kitchen and he is out in the back. Nobody wants him around, he's not supposed to be there. So I don't know what to do.

R.   So the child is really a bother to you at this point.

S.   Yes

R.   I'd like you to examine your own feelings towards the child. I don't perceive that you feel strongly about him. Is this so?

S.   No. He's just there and I didn't really want him.

R.   All right, now what about his father, were you married? Now look back on the situation.

S.   I think I was but he was killed or he left or something. He's gone, he's totally gone.

R.   All right, it is part of the reason why you feel as you do about the child because you were feeling rejection about the man?

S.   I am mad that he left. He left me here, and I can't do all of this myself.

R.   Let's take a look at this. Let's move forward until something more happens. Let's move forward. On the count of three, we'll be there. Number one, two, three.

S.   I sense that he was killed. I wasn't watching him and he got run over by a big wheel -- a big cart. I didn't care.

R.   Let's move in time again. You grow a little older now, let's move in time until something important happens that let's us better understand this lifetime. One, two, three.

S.   There's another man. It looks like that we're together, we're living together. It looks that we are married.

R.   All right, is it the same house?

S.   It is the same village, but a different house. A different house. He came to the town and he settled there. And we got together. Finally things are better.

R.   The kinship that you share with this new man, how would you describe it?

S.   Happy, I feel happy for the first time. I never felt happiness before.

R.   Are you able now to remain home? Can you do the things that you wish?

S.   Yes. It is much easier, much easier. I think he sells something to people. He has a lot of money and we're comfortable. Our home is much nicer. People look at me differently. I am more of stature now.

R.   OK. I want you to let go of this. I want to move in time once again, only I want to let go of the lifetime and move way on up into higher self once more. And now I would like you to look at the lifetime that we were just exploring in the Alps and I would like you to obtain the karmic overview of the lifetime, Susan. You came into that life, you needed to experience being alone and having a child that had actually died. When I say a karmic overview, I mean that who the people were in the past and who they are today. And what you needed to learn and did you learn it. And how is the past carried forward into the future.

S.   The little boy was my father. And it was the beginning of what we are experiencing today. Even though I don't feel that I knew at the time what I was doing and what was happening, I really think that I did. It was the result of my actions.

R.   You say this was the beginning with your father. The two of you as souls had not come together before and the life in the Alps set in motion the lifetime today.

S.   Yes. We had not been together before. There were some other times in there, but not before. Not many, at least one I am seeing. His anger came forth in that lifetime and he used it against me. And in this lifetime, we are both angry.

R.   Yes. What was the position that he played in the other incarnation? Was it parent / child, friends / mate, what was the situation?

S.   I was a musician and he was in charge of the music. He was a bandleader at a political event. He had a lot of power and he just didn't ... he did what he had to do. He told you what to do.

R.   Well let's go back and really look at that now. Let's sharpen the images and the focus. Let's look at the situation. Obviously he was the one in power and you were the one involved in the music.

S.   I was a female.

R.   A female, all right. Where are you, what country are you in?

S.   I think it is Germany.

R.   Let's look at it then. You are female, you are a musician. Did he hire you? Did he teach you? What was his position?

S.   I was placed in this band, this orchestra. I had no choice. I loved music. I played the violin. I didn't want to play what they had to play. I wanted to play pretty music, beautiful music. They played this harsh music. So they could march, and I didn't like it.

R.   And so you resisted him and in return he did what? Did he kick you out of the orchestra? Did he punish you?

S.   No, he made me practice more. He knew my parents and he told him what I was doing, that I wouldn't cooperate.

R.   All right. And then between he and your parents, you were forced to comply. Is this true?

S.   Yes. Until such time that I later left and was married.

R.   All right. Let's look at that and move in time where you were married and you did leave. Did you continue to play the violin?

S.   No. It was too much.

R.   Was it a bitter feeling towards music as a result of the conflicts that you had to experience?

S.   It wasn't worth the hassle; it was no longer beautiful.

R.   And so you just gave it up and walked away.

S.   I even left that area.

R.   All right. Let's let go of this now. Is there anything else between your mother and father that we need to explore as far as what we need to understand? Is there more than we need to understand? Is there something else going on here that you are not seeing, that I am not seeing?

S.   I don't think that they were ever supposed to be together. My mother shouldn't have married him. And when she did, they weren't right for each other.

R.   Now something pulled the two of them together. There was some energy, it all comes down to some energy. There was a combination of energy even if you were the focus that causes the two of them to come together. Nothing is happening here quite by accident. So, let's look at it at that context. Let's look at the fact that they would come together. Would his animosity towards you pull the two of them together? Can it happen that way?

S.   Oh no, I came because they came together. I chose them.

R.   Oh, I see. Because of the fact that they had this now combined energy, it could now allow you to work it all out finally at this point in time.

S.   Right. I chose them.

R.   Is there more about this that needs to be explored?

S.   No.

R.   OK, so we have a general understanding of what it is all about. The past with the father, the past with your mother, and the fact that you decided to come and handle a lot of karma and to resolve it at one time and to take on probably more than you needed to take on. From a soul level, I would like you to ask your guides and masters, Susan, did you take on more than you had to do? Some of this I could see the direct cause and effect. Other aspects of it seem like you took on more. Maybe out of guilt, guilt that you didn't really need to experience. Look at this, ask them about this.

S.   I wanted to get rid of it quickly. I wanted to move on, to do other things later.

R.   You really came with this in mind and you wanted to go through this in one big push and as a result I could free myself.

S.   If I succeeded, it would be great, if I didn't, I'd do it again.

R.   All right, very good. Is there any advice before we begin the releasing process that your primary spirit guide or master teachers or any highly evolved or loving entity means you well. Is there anything that they can tell you that would help you now that will accelerate this process? Listen.

S.   To release them in love and to let them go. And know that it has been complete.

R.   That you have come full circle.

S.   Yes.

R.   That it is within your power now. It's probably now going to come from them, but it is in your hands.

S.   Exactly.

Richard proceeds with a forgiveness and releasing process and then proceeds to another line of questioning.

R.   Susan, is there anything that in regard to your own health, in regard to your own condition, in all the exploring that we have been doing. Is there anything that you can do now beyond what we are already setting into motion by breaking the tie, draining the fluids from the cauldron and all of that?

S.   There's mental work to be done. Visualization, a tremendous amount of visualization. To rejuvenate the cells, to reconnect them. There's some vitamin therapy to be done and that's in motion. And there needs to be a determination of what to eat. What it is I want from a health perspective. And once that work is complete, it becomes very clear.

R.   Is there anything blocking this kind of determination?

S.   Not at this time.

R.   Are you willing to do this work?

S.   Yes. Yes.

R.   All right. Let's go back and look at the lifetime that came up through Tara's automatic writing that involved the children and if I remember correctly, it had to do with an orphanage or something to this effect. You are in higher mind and you can easily jump in time and see this. So on the count of three see what comes in. Let's see what the present and the future here relates to the past. One ... two ... three ...

S.   I am a nun. And I must take care of all of these children. Nobody is taking care of the children.

R.   But you have taken the responsibility and you are taking care of the children, correct?

S.   Yes. It's hard, but they are well kept and they are loved.

R.   Do you have a sense of where you are?

S.   France, I think. I am not speaking English.

R.   Is it a fearful time, is it a hard time? You say it is a hard time and it is difficult to take care of the children. Look at this a little more and try to place yourself at a point of time in history.

S.   There's a war, some kind of a war and that's why there are these children. They get dropped off and there are just more and more and more children. All of it is on my shoulders. There's nobody there but me and it frightens me sometimes because I don't know how it is going to work.

R.   I'd like you to look at this from higher mind. Now look at the pictures and come back into higher self and I would like you to look at what might be or what I perceive to be a balance here. The fact that you lost the child because you did not take care of him as well as you should in the lifetime in the Alps. Is this a karmic incarnation where you had to come back in and take care of many, many children to help balance the guilt over that?

S.   Exactly, it was right after that other lifetime.

R.   It is the sequential lifetime, then. I had a feeling that when I heard of the child dying that it tied in, so can you see now that you have certainly made up for what happened in the past life?

S.   Definitely.

Richard now directs me to return to full consciousness feeling as if I've had a nice refreshing nap and he reminds me that a lot of pieces have been pulled together today. As I open my eyes, he reinforces that I am free, really free from this karma. It has been released and it's over.

As I re-orient myself to the room, I think about this experience. During the forgiveness and release process, it became evident that not only did I have a role to play in creating a difficult relationship, but also repeating the situation in another time and place hit home. During many seminars, I've heard Richard explain that wisdom erases karma. It makes sense to me now. If we take responsibility for our actions and see our behaviors from a karmic and higher-self perspective, we can gain that wisdom and erase the karma. This regression has been a humbling experience.

I walked up the staircase full of fear and walk down from the alcove with a better understanding of who I am. There are no more secrets to tell. There are no more unanswered questions. There is no more exploring to do.

Day six ends with a lot of laughter with my new friends and many reasons to celebrate the work completed during the last six days. I am grateful that I made a commitment to the Lake Arrowhead Flight to Freedom seminar.

* * * * *

I awake Sunday morning, knowing it is time to go home. My objective was to come and create awareness and understanding so I could make major changes in my life. The foundation for change is now complete and it's up to me to follow through. There's no doubt in my mind that's what I will do!

After breakfast, the group gathers in the great room one last time for a brief session. Several of us request Richard and Tara's healing circle and after closing comments, that's just what we do. A perfect ending to an incredible week in Lake Arrowhead, California. After lots of hugs and a few tears, we all depart for home to resume our lives.

* * * * *

Postscript

Less than a month after the Lake Arrowhead Flight to Freedom seminar, I wrote Richard and Tara a letter thanking them for the seminar and outlining the changes that quickly occurred in my life.

Dear Richard & Tara:

A note to say 'thanks' for the wonderful experiences at the Lake Arrowhead seminar. My life is definitely not the same.

Tara, a million thanks for the information you provided in the psychic reading which served to confirm several pieces of the puzzle for me. It was invaluable and astonishing.

Richard, another million thanks for recognizing the need to put those puzzle pieces together. First, for suggesting and facilitating the group regression and then following up with an individual regression that couldn't have been scripted as perfect as the results. Being progressed into the future was indeed an added treat.

So what changed since Lake Arrowhead?

First, I've lost 14 pounds in less than four weeks and haven't made any effort to do so. The edema problem during that timeframe has been non-existent -- I've taken no medication whatsoever. Logically, I don't understand this at all. Metaphysically speaking, it's clear. The other day, I found myself thinking only about fruits and vegetables ... need I say more?

Other things ... I accepted a new job today. I have a new doctor, a new car, and most importantly, I am seeing everything much clearer. It's as if the core of everything is visible.

In the next few months, I went on to loose sixty-eight pounds and feel terrific. Many of my personal relationships changed dramatically. I ended several relationships that weren't 'healthy' and have taken on new activities in my life to not only express creativity, but also meet new people.

I committed to the Lake Arrowhead Flight to Freedom seminar in terms of time, money, and energy. In return, this week-long event gave me the tools to break through many of the barriers I had constructed in my life. Through Richard and Tara's sessions, I was able to re-define who I am and actually make major changes in my life. Did it take away all of life's challenges and problems? Absolutely not. Life's challenges and problems are an everday occurrence. I just deal with them differently.

There's more major changes to report, but that's another story!

Susan Matthews
W. Springfield, MA

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