Other People’s Tales Of Woe

Janwillem van de Wetering, in his book, “After Zen,” talks of meeting with an old friend named Bobbie who was sharing a list of physical complaints.

“Much can be learned from listening to other people’s tales of woe. ‘It’s like watching a movie,’ I had been told by Rimpoche during a lecture in Scotland. ‘You watch and laugh and cry and applaud and boo, but it doesn’t really touch you because it’s some other illusive ego identifying with some other nonsense.’

Bobbie laughed when I shared that wisdom. ‘As long as it isn’t you, right? What’s so wise about that?’

“Rimpoche was getting to that,” I said. “THE IDEA IS TO SEE MY OWN LIFE THE SAME WAY.”

Can you cease to identify with your own tales of woe to the degree you detach from the sufferings of others? Once again, easier said than done.

Zen would have you be in the world but not of it. In other words, you detach to the degree you’re no longer affected by the ups and downs of life. You enjoy all the love and warmth and good things life offers, but when conditions change, you allow negativity to flow through you without affecting you.

A classic Zen story illustrates this point: A young Zen monk lived in a small town where the people were honored by his presence. Many of the villagers believed him to be a saint. But when a village girl became pregnant and named the monk as the father, his world turned upside down. The town turned against him and burned his cottage to the ground. The girl’s parents took the newborn child to the monk saying, “This is your child, so you must take the responsibility of raising it.”

The monk responded by saying, “Is this so?”

When the baby cried, the monk forgot about the girl and her parents and the angry villagers. The child was hungry and the monk had no money. Cradling the newborn, he walked to a nearby city to beg for food.

In time, the monk returned with the child and rebuilt his cottage. Upon seeing the beautiful child, the mother confessed that she had named the monk as the father to protect the identity of the real father.

Upon hearing the truth, the whole village begged the monk for forgiveness. The mother came to claim her child. The parents asked, “Why didn’t you tell us this wasn’t your child?”

The monk responded, “Is this so?”

In honor and dishonor, he remained the same. Outside circumstances will always change. Within, the goal is to remain centered -- detached from the negativity. The changes in your life are only happening to your periphery -- not to who you really are -- the loving spiritual being within.

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