Sedona Conversations II

In last week’s column, I talked about casual conversations with Sedona Psychic Seminar participants and support-team members in a nearby coffee house. We’d spent an intense day exploring psychic techniques and now eight people gathered around an outside patio table sipping lattes and cappuccinos at sunset. The mountains surrounding us glowed red against the pink twilight sky.

The conversation continues:

A woman named Donna explained after many years of marriage, her husband decided he wanted a relationship without rules or commitments and was unwilling to discuss options. She desired a close monogamous union.

“There isn’t much you can do,” said one of the other women. “Trying to hold him tighter will only push him away.”

“I’ve been trying to accept my husband unconditionally, without judgment, blame, expectations, or trying to control, as Richard talks about.” Donna glanced at me. “From a human-potential viewpoint, everyone is free to be who they want to be.”

Everyone jumped into the conversation. “Marriage includes shared responsibilities. It sounds like he wants a roommate.” “My marriage got so boring after 10 years, I’d have welcomed an agreement like that.” “Sounds to me like he wants to end the marriage.” “All relationships should be no-rules, while remaining faithful out of respect for each other.” Each person had an opinion.

“I love him. He loves me. We’ve been married 18 years,” Donna said.

“If you don’t go along, he’s gone. Is that the bottom line?” I said.

Donna nodded, started to tear up.

“What are your fears in regard to the no-rules relationship?”

“I fear he’ll become sexually involved with another woman and want to be with her. I fear the financial devastation of a divorce. I fear what other people will think. I’m trying to decide if I should stay or leave.”

“What if you were to take fear out of the decision?” I met her eyes.

She looked at me, puzzled. Didn’t answer.

“If there were no fear in your decision, what would you do? No fear of losing him, or money, or what other people might think. Would you stay or leave?”

She looked off at an airplane landing upon Airport Mesa. “That changes the viewpoint, doesn’t it?” She swirled the remaining coffee in her cup. “If I had no fears, it would not matter what he did. Or, for that matter, what I did. I know I’d survive either way.”

“Fear always indicates a growth opportunity -- a choice. Unconditional love takes fear out of the equation. You’ll also be detaching from the outcome, which is important. We can’t control outcomes in life. The best we can hope to do is increase the odds through wisdom.” I raised my coffee cup as if toasting her.

She smiled. “Fear nothing!”

Another woman raised her cup in the air, said, “If you hang in, you may end up liking the arrangement better than he does.”

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The best Sutphen Seminar for a lot of casual conversations is the Flight To Freedom 7-Day Retreat in Lake Arrowhead, CA: June 16-22, 2003. The retreat is limited to only 16 people and we still have a few openings. Everyone attending will receive a free private regression/counseling session with Dick and a free astrological reading with Tara.

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