Try Never to Let Others Change Who You Are

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most fools do." - Benjamin Franklin
 
My wife’s guide has said to her many times over the years, “Try never to let others change who you are.” Like many of us working to become self-actualized, Roberta does her best to be calm and not to over-react.  We are living in some very polarized times and we are both working at not responding to what is happening on the political front. It’s difficult not to become upset, but just as Roberta’s guide points out, if you don’t believe you are an angry, hateful person, then don’t become one to defend your position. It’s not worth it. You don’t want to become what you revile.

Holding a copy of my book, “The Oracle Within,” Roberta reminded me of my own words regarding what she is experiencing.
 
The Oracle Within
THE LAW OF RESISTANCE
What you resist you draw to yourself. As long as you resist something, you are locked into combating it and merely perpetuate its influence in your life. Resistance is fear, something you need to karmically resolve. You must let go of the fear by encountering it until you learn to consciously detach from what you view to be negative.

You must learn to yield to an oncoming force in such a way as to render it harmless and, at the same time, change its direction by pushing it from behind instead of resisting it from the front. A Master of Life doesn’t oppose things, nor does he attempt to change circumstances by asserting himself against them. Instead, he goes with the flow, yielding to its full force and either pushing it slightly out of direct line or moving it around in the opposite direction without ever encountering its direct opposition. This is the principle of controlling life by going along with it.
 
DENYING OTHERS
You need to understand that what you deny to others will be denied to you. What you deeply believe defines your experience. What you feel strongly about and what you say creates your reality. For example, if you resent wealthy people, you’ll never be wealthy. If you are irritated by other people’s success, you will be denied success. If you’re jealous of someone else’s loving relationship, you will be denied an ideal relationship.
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Negative emotions work against you because you can’t attain that which you resent. Your negative attitudes program a cause and effect response in your subconscious mind—karma. The purpose of karma is to teach and in this case, to instruct you by denying you what you would deny others. Karma is trying to show you your attitudes are based upon emotions you need to transcend.
 
"Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values." - Dali Lama